Have i got pnd?

[SoundOfTheSuburbs]

I think the penny might have dropped today.

I just dont feel like me... At all. Dc3 is ten months old now. Its my light has gone out :(

I have no confidence at all, i feel insecure. I hate my husband for getting to walk out of the door at 8am each day. I feel like a housekeeper. Life feel like absolute monotony. My mood flicks on a switch... I can be fine one moment and then its like the lights go out and i just feel an overwhelming sadness, and i just dont even recognise myself. I feel like im no good at anything at all. Dont work not as we couldnt figure out the childcare and i feel like adjusting to sahm has been so much harder than i ever expected. By the same token, even the thought of leaving the baby makes me feel like i would be the most selfish mother ever. I think i have issues with food too. I dont eat much at all, pretend to dh that ive already eaten etc.

I really apologise for the stream of sentences, i just tried to get it all out as it came into my head.

I'm at work so it's a quick one. I'm sorry to hear you feel like this. A lot of what you say resonates with how I felt when I had PND.

Here is a good Mind description of PND which might help- here

It references the Edinburgh test which is quite helpful.

My advice to you would be to pop along and see your HV or GP and tell them what you've told us. It doesn't have to be like this, and there are ways back to your old self- honest.

I have recently been diagnosed with PND and can see a lot of similarities in how you feel.

I spoke to my HV first and then my GP. Both were completely lovely and supportive. I am now on medication and just feel like me again. I am taking it one day at a time but already starting to notice how bad I was and how much better I am now.

I gave up work and struggled with becoming a SAHM and then moving house, new area and no support. It will all be fine.

I was diagnosed with PND a few months ago when dc was nearly a year old. What you say you are feeling does have similarities with how I felt. I would totally recommend what other posters have said about talking to your HV or GP. Even if you don't "officially" have PND you are clearly struggling and you don't have to suffer that alone. A decent GP will definitely help you. I started therapy a few weeks ago and the counsellor (a PND specialist) says that even without PND many women find themselves depressed after they have a baby due to all kinds of issues and pressures. Some of what you say you are feeling - the monotony, like a housekeeper etc - is more common than you might think. I was amazed when I started to talk to a lot of my friends just how many of them had felt like that even without PND. And I think being an SAHM has it's own set of issues - I felt like I had lost everything I ever had when the baby was born because I never got to leave the house and do something totally unconnected with babies, I couldn't do any of the things I did before. Just know, it does get better. But you do need some professional help even if it's just your GP. I tried to do it on my own and found it just made me feel worse.