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Domestic life making depression much worse...

3 replies

DomesticallyDepressed · 22/07/2013 10:41

I have been on Sertraline since my son was born 5 years ago. It has been a very difficult 5 years but recently, my depression and anxiety are much worse. I've been trying to get off Sertraline but I guess now is not the right time...

I am just totally sick of being the domestic skivvy. I seem to have become responsible for the cleaning, shopping, washing, organising of , basically everything in the domestic sphere. I am just finding it terribly boring drudgery and it eats into my time for my own work.

I work at home and it is making my life grim because I just feel like I am surrounded with the constant crap of toys, plates, washing, drying....my partner has a very high-flying job and doesn't help in the domestic sphere. I have tried and tried talking to him but he just does not see how depressing it is for me. He just does not see mess and cares even less.
I spent yesterday clearing and tidying and just snapped in the end and spent the evening in the bedroom, alone

Just so sick of the constant trail of dirt and destruction that they both leave behind. On a weekend, every single room is trashed by 10 am.

(We have a cleaner once a week but it doesn't seem to make any difference.)

It is causing problems between us as I am so restful. I work part-time so I could spend more time with my son and do the school run etc. but this has had a huge impact on my career and I feel extremely frustrated and depressed, as well as being unfulfilled.

Some days (most days?) I want to walk away and I have got so far as looking at flats on my own (none of which I can afford). I don't want to leave my son but I can't go on like this.

I don't know. It seems trivial when I write it out. It's just the everyday grind, drudgery and boredom that I can't and and it's making me much worse (crying all the time, etc.)

I sound spoilt writing this. That makes me worse as I just feel so guilty. I shouldn't feel as miserable as this. :(

OP posts:
DomesticallyDepressed · 22/07/2013 11:18

I don't know what to add that might give a better picture: insomnia, constant anxiety/worrying, 5 years of disrupted sleep due to a child who won't settle, child with SEN (communication/social/behavioural issues).

OP posts:
TheOrchardKeeper · 22/07/2013 17:21

well to be honest, if my partner had that attitude I doubt I'd be feeling great myself.

Sounds like you have a lot on.

Have you tried being as honest to him as you have here? Let him know that you're literally considering walking because you've had enough?

HoopHopes · 22/07/2013 23:22

Housework is a drudge, fact!! Could you have the cleaner a few more hours a week? If dh not going to do anything, perhaps review your paid help situation? I think if I could have most of cleaning, ironing done for me( I don't but) then other things would help. Or could you have a part time nanny or au pair to do thing ps if dh in such a Hugh flying job to help for a while?

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