If you resent your baby - is that pnd?

[Wills]

I have two girls and a longed for baby of 16 days (ds). He wont stop screaming. Im barely getting any sleep. Today hes been ok during the day but has now started. Given last night he will probably keep going until 2 or 3 excluding the times I put him on the breast. I have breast feeding thrush and am in a lot of pain. Desperate to bf I put myself on a sugar, carbohydrate, alcohol free diet and it sucks. Just want to cry. when he sleeps I play with my two daughters and Im happy - so is this sleep deprevation or pnd

Do you ever enjoy him? Do you think you resent him all the time? Do you want to hurt him? That on'e s abit harsh I know but I know of someone who was asked this in her dx of pnd.

Just bumping this for you. Sorry I don't know the answers but I am sure someone knowledgeable will be along soon. All I can say is that sleep deprivation does terrible things to us and I am so sorry you are feeling like this, whatever the cause.

Cross posts bramblina.

Yes I do enjoy him and no I don't want to hurt but there are moments when I'd like to scream back. I'm just feeling sorry for myself I know. Plenty of others go through this. Got to grit my teeth - harder!

Could be baby blues, but do you really resent your ds? I remember saying to dp when my ds was a week old that I didn't want him etc etc, and the next day I was absolutely mortified. I don't think it's too soon for you to see your gp to chat about it, or talk to your midwife/hv.

I was diagnosed PND when ds was only 3 weeks old, because ofhow I felt, but sleep deprivation had a huge part to play in my feelings toward him. Please talk to someone soon, especially if you are feeling a bit resentful towards you ds.

NO I don't think you should have to just grit your teeth

Sleep deprivation can be awful. I utterly sympathise with you. Try not to feel guilty about it.

Wills I have no experience but from what you say it sounds as if you are just so tired and the hormones have kicked in. I'm so sorry for you having a hard time, wish the feeding was better, you know it will be soon. And very worth it. If you want to scream, scream and scream loud, in to a pillow works. Or have a really good sob. Please don't hold back.
HTH

\link{http://www.pndsa.co.za/ms-fc.htm\checklist for pnd here}

On a boring practical note I'd suggest losing the diet hon- you need carbs for energy and a glass of wine for sanity, I'd say. When's your bloke home? Is he helping enough? Do you have other help?

I had 2 screamy babies and it just completely wears you out emotionally. The non-stop screaming is just horrible - it's like not being able to escape.

I don't know your family situation but could you leave him with dh for half an hour while you go for a walk and clear your head? I know you have to face the prospect of coming back to him screaming but at least it might give you a break. Sorry to ask the obvious, but is he overtired or perhaps the thrush is upsetting him aswell?

Sorry I can't be of much help but I wouldn't rush to think you have PND yet. ANYONE would battle to deal with hours of a screaming child - I would talk to the midwife/HV/GP even if it is only to get them to give ds a once over to check if there's a reason for the screaming.

Many thanks. Had a better night lastg night as dh took the brunt. I'm certainly better able to think straight. I think with the diet that I'm going to reduce sugar and bread and then if that doesn't work then think again. The regieme on top of everything else is a little too much at the moment.

I am sorry you're having such a rough time, Wills :( It's very early days yet, and those early days/weeks can be a nightmare for all sorts of reasons. Are you getting the thrush treated? Make sure you treat ds too, so he doesn't keep giving it back to you. Re diet, I agree with Scummy. Might ds sleep in a sling? You could get out for a bit and have a walk in the sun (take an umbrella to keep him in the shade).
Do make sure you get the support you need. Don't grit your teeth, take care of yourself. :)

i feel the same sometimesi think evry mother goes through it my daughters 1 and she is gettin into all sotrs im a single mum and sumtimes feel like grrrr and she winds me up which is horrible its just the constant moaning ( gettin her back teeth) but i love her and tomorow things change ul get through it we all do x

Hiya... gonne be breif. If hes quiet when on breast is he hungry? My son fed pretty constantly for 3 1/2 months... one feed ran into the other and Id be feeding for maybe 3 hours. I saw a programme once where a baby cried every evening for a few hours until she fell asleep - they found out i was just hunger. Also, maybe try expressing and giving botle and baby to someone for a few hours to get a break? Really dont cut out carbs when breastfeeding - fat and fibre arent really energy giving, for you and baby. You really shouldnt diet at all breastfeeding (although an achohol free diet is ok ) Health visitor said to eat 1000 more calories a day while breastfeeding. Have you treated you and baby for the thrush? Babies scream constantly when they get it - that might be a cause. That wasnt very brief in the end - sorry!

I bottle fed so can't comment too much on breast feeding issues but I felt like this with DS - he screamed constantly because he had reflux, had you considered that at all? Might be worth discussing with your HV, not all reflux babies are sicky. Plenty of info if you google it. Also I felt worse when I'd spent and hour or so 'off' as I dreaded the thought of going back to him, I think this is over-tiredness, shock - and don't forget, your body is recovering from major trauma. Go easy on yourself (and I agree with the other posters, drop the diet,you need all the energy and comfort you can get).

Hope you (and he) feel better soon.