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Mental health

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Flip

Original poster

Where can I take the baby?

18 replies

TimeToGoAway · 15/07/2013 12:46

Hi, I'm just wondering if there's somewhere safe I can drop off my baby somewhere people will look after him. I love him but I'm just not the best option for him anymore nor is his dad. I've been suicidal for a very long time now its time to go I just know deep down. I feel so calm.

I've let him down, I'm a failure with no family no friends no job no money and no hope. I can't provide for him. MIL will take in my DD but the baby needs someone more than her she couldn't cope with him. I can't provide for either of them they have to go without the little things all the other kids have and both their parents are beyond fucked up. I can make it better by taking myself off the scene I just need him safe first.

OP posts:

mummylin2495 · 15/07/2013 12:51

Please phone the Samaritans for help. Please don't do this your children need their mum. Someone will prob put the number on here for you.

LittleBearPad · 15/07/2013 12:53

The Samaritans number is 08457 90 90 90. Please phone them. Things truly will not be as bad as you think but you need help and the Samaritans can start this.

PinkFondantFancy · 15/07/2013 12:54

Samaritans:08457 90 90 90 please call them x

ChippingInHopHopHop · 15/07/2013 12:56

Oh love x There is nothing, nothing, either of your children need more than they need you.

There are posters on MN who have been in your position (and are much better now) and in your childrens position - and they will tell you how devastating it was to lose their parent - to feel they weren't enough for their parents.

Lots & lots of children are having to go without - the economy is fucked. Honestly, yours are not the only ones going without the little things in life.

Keep talking to us.

Original poster

TimeToGoAway · 15/07/2013 13:02

They really don't need me honestly. I'll let them down I let everyone down. No-one in my family speaks to me because I push everyone away. I don't have anyone I'm so so alone. None of the children locally will play with my daughter because I'm odd and poor and they all look down their nose at me and my baby boy will get exactly the same treatment my kids don't know their grandparents my little boys eleven weeks old and he has never met a member of my family. I just can't be so lonely any more I want better for them and without me they have a chance and that's all I want for them I don't want to fuck up their lives too they have so many possibilities ahead of them they can be amazing without me or I can frag them down its an easy choice really.

OP posts:

theorchardkeeper · 15/07/2013 13:04

The best option for your baby is if you go to A&E. Right now.

I've also been in this position, like many others here and I am telling you that whilst you feel he's better off without you right now, he'd be a whole lot worse off if he was without you & without his real mother.

It's not easy and i'm sure right now it's the last thing you want to do but do it & you'll one day realize how close you came to something so horrible, for you and your family.

So much luck and strength to you

Vatta · 15/07/2013 13:05

Ring your local social services - you can find the number by googling or you can call the non- emergency police number 111. Social services can make sure your baby is safe and looked after while you get the help that you need.

juicyfruit21 · 15/07/2013 13:07

I am not aware of any baby drop of boxes in UK. Some countries have them.

But in your case I would go to A&E. I have been in similar situation too and got help :)

theorchardkeeper · 15/07/2013 13:07

(if you go to A&E you can get help, support, ways of dealing with the loneliness and dealing with the isolation. It does get better and you can do this. You are all your son has ever known, since before he was even born so please consider going purely so that you both have a chance at this, before taking that away from him and yourself).

nenevomito · 15/07/2013 13:10

Your children won't be better off without you. They just won't.
It sounds like you have an awful case of PND (post-partum depression).

Call your doctor, call your health visitor, Call Samaritans or go to A&E. Whatever you do just call someone or go somewhere you can get help with this.

I've been where you are where I honestly thought my children would be better off without me. You can come through it, but you need help.

theorchardkeeper · 15/07/2013 13:11

(also, don't mean to sound harsh but even through just reading your posts you sound severely, severely depressed, which i'm sure you know affects your judgement. If you make the choice to stick around then you don't have to continue to live like this/feel like this forever)

Eskino · 15/07/2013 13:21

You need a hand. If only to get to a safe place for your little boy .

If you can reach out to us here, can you use that same courage to get to a&e?

Original poster

TimeToGoAway · 15/07/2013 13:25

I can't get to a&e my DD won't be home from school until three and there's no-one else here. I'm not proud of myself but I self harmed for the first time in a long time that and littles one smile have given me a clearer head. I'm on antidepressants but its obviously not working for me and I need more help before I do something I will regret. It was never meant to be like this, I only ever wanted to be like everyone else.

OP posts:

roguepixie · 15/07/2013 13:29

Please, take a deep breath and phone the Samaritans.

You are so needed. Your children need you - you are their Mum.

You have taken an amazingly brave step by posting here ... the next step of phoning the Samaritans is much smaller in comparison.

Please don't make decisions such as the ones you are taking about without speaking to professionals and the doctor.

scottishmummy · 15/07/2013 13:34

are you known to a Cmht?or gp?if known to services call cmht/crisis team
If not known to mental health service Phone police 999,they will be able to come to you and access mental health support
When you make call let them know you feel low,have self harmed and have a baby
You can present to a&e without appt ask for psychiatric team

At moment you're scared,and need support.Its lonely and scary to be at such a low point. You might not believe it but help is available and with treatment you can recover

Please call police

TurnipIsTaken · 15/07/2013 13:47

Op, try and call Samaritans or get medical help. You can email Samaritans too but they might not reply straight away - [email protected].

If you can't manage it yet, keep posting on here.

You feel very bad about yourself and without hope. That is very tough to be living with, in addition to looking after two children. But it is possible to get help and not feel like this, honestly. Just takes a bit of pushing forward to get the help.

Your children need you just because you are THEIR mother. Adopted children can thrive but there are many problems associated with dealing with the fact they have lost their birth parents one way or another, don't see it as an easy solution.

scottishmummy · 15/07/2013 13:55

You need support and professional intervention
Cmht
Police
Gp
Attend A&E
Tell school at pick up
Tell someone who can get you immediate help
You mention AD, who prescribed the gp?

It's overwhelming at moment but with support that will diminish over time

WeAreEternal · 15/07/2013 14:03

Time please please go to A&E or a GP surgery today.
Go and collect your DD from school early if you need to, or go after you collect her.
Or even call the GPs and ask for a home visit.

You need to see someone today, they will be able to help you.

I am a MHCP, and I suffered from severe PND, I promise you that things can get better, your ADs are clearly not working. You are not a rubbish person, you are ill, and you can get better.

If you need to talk please PM me.

Flip