I struggle on and off with weird/paranoid thoughts. I don't think about them long, just a few seconds and it's not everytime, just sometimes.
Like if the timer hasn't been cleared on the microwave and I look at it I think that that's how long I have left to live.
If I hear my son crying in the middle of the night I sometimes think it isn't really him bit someone/something trying to trick me and I am going to die if I go check on him. (I always go check on him but sometimes I wait a few minutes so I can calm down)
It's the same if my cat scratches at the door or miaows or something. I start to think it's not actually my cat but a demon/monster.
I get scared sometimes that there are cameras in the house and our landlord is spying on us.
Sometimes when I'm cooking dinner I get the urge to just slit my wrists or stab myself in the thighs or stomach. I used to self harm but haven't done it in years.
There's others but those are the worst. I never have angry or violent thoughts about anyone else, just myself. I have been diagnosed with PND and I take citalopram but these thoughts started before the citalopram. They went away for a while but now they are back.
I'm scared to tell my gp.