Is this extreme anxiety? Feeling desperate.....

[fiveintothree]

When things go wrong (as they did for me yesterday) my heart begins to pound, I panic, shake and cannot sleep and swing between shaking/confusion and bawling tears.
My shaking is so bad I even find it difficult to go to buy something in a supermarket.
I have a feeling of impending doom, I cannot get a grip on my feelings and in my 'shaking' state I feel so bad that it makes me feel like harming myself.
I cannot get a perspective on my thoughts and I fear for the worst.

I should say that usually I am a functioning person, single parent with a responsible job that I do well.

These episodes only happen when things go wrong, yesterday there was a problem with work.
I have done nothing wrong (in fact, I have done everything right, it's a minor whistleblowing situation) but for reasons that I cannot go into (child protection) I am terrified it will affect my career.
I know these fears are probably unfounded but emotionally I am panicked about them.

My Dad died suddenly (in an accident) 18 months ago and I left my alcoholic, EA STBXH a year ago.
I think it could well be related to Dad's death (which pulled the rug from underneath me & my whole family), I seem to be panicking about the worst case scenario as that is what happened with my Dad, suddenly.

These 'attacks' do pass, usually when the problem is resolved but nonetheless they are very distressing.

I have had counselling post bereavement & leaving STBXH, the trouble being that I only feel like this when it seems that things may go wrong.

What is wrong with me?

TIA 5in23

They do sound like panic attacks. Very scary, though ultimately harmless.

Have a read about them on places like nomorepanic and Anxiety Uk.

Even just knowing that is what's going on can be helpful as you might recognise them and be able to just wait for them to pass. Those websites have lots of stuff about dealing with panic and anxiety.

I found the Stress Free app recommended by Anxiety Uk to be helpful.
I also went to the doctor with similar things and did a CBT course which was quite useful rather than miraculous.

It's a horrid thing to have and I hope you can find a way to feel even slightly better soon.

Hi five, sorry to hear you're going through this, panic attacks are horrible. Relaxed has given you some really useful suggestions, and I'd say make a GP appointment ASAP so you can discuss how to start getting better, eg if a talking therapy other than counselling might help or if some short term meds to help you feel more on top of things are in order.

Do let us know how you get on. x

Thank you, I've looked at the websites and the descriptions make perfect sense to me.

I'm going to follow their advice to take a trip to my GP to rule out anything physical first, although I don't think it is.

I think hypnotherapy will be the thing for me eventually - I'll let you know how I go.

Thank you again, 5.

Good luck!