How long were you a sahm?

[chicaguapa]

DD is 4.5 and DS is 18m. I've been a sahm since 6 months before DD was born - that's 5 years! I attempted to go back to work when DD was 1 but I didn't like the job and felt guilty putting DD into childcare for 3 days a week (- even though I'd gone back to work to fund her childcare as I wanted to socialise her!) so I left after 4 months.

I am enjoying being a sahm less and less as time goes on. I go to a coffee morning once a week but that's the only thing that manages to motivate me to get out the house. DS still has a 2 hour nap morning AND afternoon so it's easy to stay at home and let him sleep.

DD is going to start school in Sept and DS will start at a nursery a couple of mornings a week. So I am thinking about going back to work then even though my plan was to wait until DS had started reception. But I feel guilty that I want to do that now.

I do have issues with not being a sahm. I am always proud that I've wanted to be one but I'm getting fed up of feeling like I'm being treated like a 2nd class citizen and taken for granted. Both my children adore DH because they see less of him. Yet I'm the one giving up my life to look after them (and yes it does feel like that!).

What bugs me about being a SAHM is that no-one thinks you're doing it because you want to bring up your children yourself. They think it's because you are too thick to get a job.

My MIL is a PIA too. She told me that DH is really good to me because he looks after HIS kids while I go to a tutorial one Saturday in every month with the OU.

On while on the subject she said I won't have a problem doing my degree as people do them with full time jobs!

And she said I should take the rap for DH's speeding ticket so I get the points instead of him as he's the breadwinner and he needs to be able to drive! And it doesn't matter if I get banned instead as I don't have to get to work!

And for all the expectations she has of me cleaning, running the house, bringing her grandchildren up to be model citizens, last year I went into hospital with meningitis. DH had to take 6 weeks off work and she actually sat down and told him that he wasn't expected to keep on top of everything as it was impossible with kids blah blah!

And I know for a fact that if I got a p/t job I would still be expected to keep all the same responsibilities at home as well as working as my job would only be part time and DH's is full time.

Fortunately this is only my MIL as if my DH thought that he would be my XH! He is actually very supportive of whatever I want to do. So it could be a lot worse.