Really ashamed of everything about my life
Distant from everyone around me
Trapped. Like there's no way out
Overwhelmed by my problems
Obsessed with the past. Why did I do this, why didn't I do that. Feel that I have caused this situation. Should have made better choices. Just keep replaying other 'possible lives' and how much happier I could have been. Just can't stop these thoughts. Horrible.
I have been cutting back on my AD, imipramine. Trying to figure that out myself as am so sick of being on ADs
Feel like a total failure in every aspect of my life
Can't talk to anyone about it. Totally alone
Should be feeling happy and blessed as have 10 month old gorgeous boy and nice partner but don't. Feel terrible and so bad for feeling terrible.
Am in counselling (private). Sick to death of thinking and analysing. Wondering if I should try something else like CBT.
Cant seem to find comfort anywhere.
Just need to write this all down. Need external input. Where do I go from here?