So disappointed

[peachypips]

Hi everyone. I've not started a thread on here before but I am feeling very unwell and I just need some positive words from understanding people. I have had major depressive disorder and generalised anxiety disorder since I had DS1 5 and a half years ago. I was on 200mg Sertraline and 45mg Mirtazapine about two years ago and I have been very gradually weaning off over the last 18 months.
I finished Mirtazapine about this time last year and managed to reduce to 50mg Sertraline before Christmas. I decided I was feeling so brilliant that I would reduce again and felt very well on 25mg. I stayed at 25mg for three months to check I wasn't going to relapse.
Anyway, two weeks ago I reduced to 12.5mg and yesterday I crashed right down into hell. I have quickly jumped back to 50mg (wasn't sure that 25mg would cut it as I am feeling very anxious and depressed).
Anyway, I am so gutted. I thought I was better. I wanted to stop taking Sertraline as I am sure it makes me gain weight (am 11 stone and 5.3), and I struggle to have strong feelings of love for others when I am on them. I also get water retention and night sweats.
I guess I just feel I am stuck now. Going to be overweight for the rest of my life if I want to stay stable.
Very

Hi peachypips. My heart goes out to you. My dsis has been on medication for panic attacks for some years now and I was just thinking about her and reading some of the threads on here to see if I could glean any bits of advice for how I can help her whenever I talk to her. I read your post and didn't want it to go unanswered. I know my sis beats herself up for having a dependency on the drugs. I think forgiving yourself and being patient with yourself is really important. You've made some really big steps in cutting down your medication over the last couple of years. Congratulate yourself on what you have achieved! Maybe that last step in coming down to 12.5mg was too soon. It's OK, allow yourself time to get balanced again before worrying about the next step. You've done brilliantly! We're all very good at focusing on the things that don't go the way we want, rather than things that do. I don't know if that helps, but I hope it does.

Thank you zulu - that was very helpful and you are so right. Your sis is very lucky to have you. My illness is panic and anxiety related too.
I think you are right about going down too quickly at the last reduction. Back to 50mg- onwards and upwards!

Hello Peachy. Sorry to hear you are feeling low. I really appreciated your kind comments on my thread this morning.

No advice for you as I'm new to all this but sending hugs and positive thoughts to you.

Thank you pro - I am feeling a lot better but still a bit disappointed not to be med free. They have really helped me but I feel ready to move on! Anyway, going to fully get over this blip then get back to 25mg and stay there I think! Less side effects but still a buffer to my anxiety.
Glad you are feeling more positive today. These feelings will fade and then you'll feel good again soon xx

Hi Im in a very similar situation with medication. Im having (what I hope is ...) a little blip at the moment after doing another drop in dose - but generally my position is that Ive decided to stay on the lowest dose I feel ok on and not worry too muxh about coming off completely for the time being. I had been planning for this to be my last drop for the time being and to stay on this dose for quite a long time.

Re the weight - Im generally quite slim but had put on weight because of ADs. Once i go down to lower doses I was able to lose some weight realtively easily using the myfitnesspal app (basically calorie watching.)

I also get night sweats and feelings of sedation but again these are reduced at the lower doses so ive decided to try and stabilise on the lower dose. Then hopefuly can have reduced side effects and the same time as not crashing (fingers crossed!!!!)

So lovely to hear someone in the same boat! Hurray! I have decided exactly the same as you- I am going to stabilise again at 50mg then go back down to 25mg as I was fine on that. Then I am going to leave well alone!
Will start dieting then too. I am normally 9 and a half stone but on these I am eleven. You've given me loads of hope and made me feel so much better. So, aiming for 25mg and then diet. Hope is back!

What are you on btw?

Im on one of the older tricylics (Clomipramine) - although was originally on seroxat. I was switched to clomip after failing to be able to get off seroxat.

Good luck with diet :-)

Thanks kizzie - good luck to you too.