Help. How do I handle this?

[Eskino]

My son came to me yesterday and told me he'd seen the doctor about anxiety and depression. I know he's been out of work for over a year and doesn't go out socially at all. In fact has always been shy and introverted. I never minded or pushed him to be more outgoing as he seemed uncomfortable in such situations and has always been bookish and quiet.

Now he says he's got an appointment to see a therapist, he is very reluctant to talk about himself so i know it took a lot to tell me this. He puts on a very "I'm fine" front (so as not to worry me, I suppose).

Is he going to be alright? He lives alone and a 2 hour drive away from me. I want to go get him and bring him here and wrap him back up in my arms but he's a man now.

Oh dear, you sound so worried. My DH has had depression and anxiety for years and I know how worrying it is.

If your son has an appointment to see a therapist it shows that he is getting some help and this is a good sign. From his point of view, having finally told you is probably a huge relief to him and just knowing that you are there for him I'm sure means a lot. He may have been worried how you would react so having told you has probably brought him some relief.

Has he been given tablets as well or don't you know?

I would expect him to start to feel better with the therapy, but it takes a long time. I had the tendency to keep on asking how DH was feeling, but the improvement was quite slow, so expect the progress to be gradual.

Good luck, hope that helps a little.

Thanks for responding
He has refused any medication which to be honest, is a relief at the moment, I have the impression that GPs dish these pills out and then forget about the patient.

I'm sorry to hear your DH has these issues, it must be really difficult at times, treading carefully and all that. Do you worry about him harming himself?
I am really proud of my boy (he's in his 20's!) for being pro-active and seeking help and of course talking to me about it. He's asked me not to ask him any questions though, I said I hope sometime in the future that he'll be able to talk with me about it. I can't help thinking my parenting is shit.

I dont know too much about this, but I do think that if he has been diagnosed with anziety and depression, and the GP has suggested pills, then he should take them.

Therapy could be ages away.
He needs some help right now.

Please don't think your parenting is shit! He's been brave enough to book himself in for therapy even though he's scared of it, he's then chosen to confide in YOU. These are both brilliant things and you should be proud of both of you!

The best thing you can do is just be there for him. If he wants to talk again he will. Until then I'd carry on as normal and just be there for him however you can

Thanks all, its good to vent. I spoke with him today on Skype and he said he was "fine" as usual. Ah well.

Yams yes, the GP offered pills or therapy, ds took therapy. He has a dislike of drugs in general, he won't even take hay fever tablets, perhaps when he has looked further into it then he may choose meds. I just worry for him being isolated and on anti-d's but I admit I don't have much experience of them. His appt with therapist is a couple of weeks away.

BB thankyou for your kind words. Yes, the fact he's getting help is a positive thing and I'm pleased he told me, perhaps before things could get worse, just wish I could have done something when he was 13, 14 etc. hindsight is a wonderful thing eh?

Keep the lines of communication open.
Odd that the GP offered one or the other, not both. But as I say, I dont know everything there is to know about it.
At least his therapy is only two weeks away.

I am very out of the jobs market as well now so dont know how it works, or doesnt.
Perhaps he could volunteer for something? It would help get him out of the flat, and would definitely help with his cv a bit longer term.
Perhaps volunteer at the library, or to walk pets or something?