How do I parent with mental ill health?

[superstarheartbreaker]

I think I have borderline personality disorder but remain undiagnosed. I have had a bipolar diagnosis many years ago. I am very snappy with my dd and shout and fly off the handle. I am have nooo patience. Then I get very guilty and loving and she pushes me away. I'm so scared I will damage our relationship and mess her up. I love her. She is 5, I am a single mum and I am going to visit a mental health team at the end of July. It couldn't come too soon.

I dont know if you have seen Gracie Loo's threads. She has bpd.
I am not sure if you would find them helpful to read or not.
I am glad you have the visit lined up.

GracieLoo not Gracie Loo

Sounds like such a hard situation, OP. It is great that you want to take responsibility for your mental health. My parents didn't and it made aspects of my childhood inconsistent and difficult. Just getting yourself some support and being able to talk openly about your feelings will help protect your children from the more chaotic aspects of your conditions.

It sounds like you know you are being inconsistent, which is what your daughter is reacting to. She loves you, but it is confusing when a parent blows hot and cold with you. It can be quite frightening when your parent is screaming at you one minute and then telling you they love you. But you know that, because that is why you've posted.

Talking to your team and asking for extra support is a great idea. But you are already on your way to making a change because you recognise that it is becoming a problem.

Facing up to this takes a lot of bravery, OP. You are doing the right thing for your daughter. You should be proud of yourself, because many parents don't.

I hope you can get some support soon.

Asking for support from your health visitor and children's centre might be an extra source of help too.

I agree - you are accepting that this is about you.

I think that the team will create an age-approriate "script" for explaining things to your child.

it's much better than when we were young