just cant cope anymore

[MandMs82]

I've had enough. Hate myself and see no point in carrying on. My ds i 2 and epileptic. Seizures are out of control & fits pretty much all day. I'm 8mths pregnant & can only see a bleak future ahead. When he's not fitting he is tantrumming. Just taken 2hrs to eat his lunch. Threw his spoon on the floor 42 times. I was crying and begging him to just eat his dinner but he just laughed at me. I'm a failure. I'm pointless and a crap mum. He's playing happily with his cars so he's happy. I've locked myself in the bathroom and want to end it all. Don't even know why I'm posting.Just felt alone

So sorry to read this. You're not crap, you're a wonderful mum. Anyone would be at the end of their tether dealing with all that. Do you have any family or friends who can help you out with looking after your DS? This is too much to cope with on your own at 8 months pregnant. Please call someone you know and let them know how you're feeling right now. xx

My dh is working and family are away. Im not worth them worrying about.

Oh gosh, that is so much you have on your plate just now, there is little wonder you are feeling overwhelmed.

What are the doctors doing to try and control the epilepsy? It wont be like this forever, im sure.

The tantruming, and spoon throwing is just everyday toddler territory. I am not trivialising but trying to make you see that you are not alone in having to deal with that. Its hard for all mums of toddlers and I am sure everyone has locked themselves in the bathroom/bedroom, walked to end of garden before. Its normal.

You have the added worry and stress of the epilepsy and of course you are pregnant and knackered. Does your DH help out? Have you told him you are finding things hard? Who can you turn to in terms of family to give you some respite?

Are you getting any help from the hospital? HV? Can you ask for extra support - do you have a homestart in your area? You are entitled to help with your DS i am sure - tell your HV how you are feeling.

Most importantly - you are NOT a crap mum, no crap mums ever feel like crap mums because they don't care enough!

Well on a practical note - of course you are worth them worrying about, without you, who is going to take care of your DS? and new baby eh? Practicalities aside - im sure your DH loves you. It is hard when it falls to one parent to do all the childcare.

I really think you need to talk to someone - there is treatment out there to help, even pregnant, you can take something, if you need to. I think you just sound exhausted.

We are here to listen and offer advice and support too x

Please keep posting there are lots of us here to help.
Please call your HV and make an appointment with your gp. You need to seek rl support right away.

What you are dealing with sound v hard. Also ask HV/gp if there is a support group for epileptic children locally this would help you.

Don't feel you have to sit with ds fur two hours. Set aside 30 mins and if he doesn't eat out the food aside. He will eat when he's hungry. Make sure you eat too.

Its nothing but hospital appt after another. Today is a rare day with nothing. Its such a crap game of trial and error and false hope that its under control. Can't even hide in the bathroom for more than 5mins incase he fits so am cowering in the corner of the room where I can see him but praying he doesn't notice me. See crap mum. Dh is in denial that everything will be ok. I have to go to all the appts cos he says he's frustrated and will lose it with the drs etc. No one has any answers. Because of the fits ds even sleeps in our bed and sleeps on my knee every eve till I go to bed. I don't go anywhere on my own. He's literally with me 24 hrs a day. This doesn't feel like a life its a nightmare

Please keep posting there are lots of us here to help.
Please call your HV and make an appointment with your gp. You need to seek rl support right away.

What you are dealing with sound v hard. Also ask HV/gp if there is a support group for epileptic children locally this would help you.

Don't feel you have to sit with ds fur two hours. Set aside 30 mins and if he doesn't eat out the food aside. He will eat when he's hungry. Make sure you eat too.

I've got to leave. I'm not good enough to be his mum. He needs someone better. Dh won't be home till 6 but think I will just take him to his office. He'd be better with his dad. He prefers him anyway. Thank u all for your kind words but I think I'm beyond helping

The Samaritans

PLEASE call the samaritans or anyone you can for support - your little boy needs you!

You ARE good enough - I don't think you should drop him off with his dad just at this moment in time, not because i dont think you need a break, you DO but i don't think you should be on your own just now. I have to do the school run and take DD to bloody roller skating and don't have my phone to post on but i will check up on you later to give more support.

Am jut thinking that actually, make your DH go to the appointments, that way he will know what you are up against and it wont actually hurt for someone to get a bit shitty with the medics and shake them up a bit.

Sweetheart - you need help, please speak to someone - even if its your GP.

Will your DH come home??

I'll ask him to come home

Just wondering if you're ok???

On phone low battery just hoping you are ok xx

Your dh needs to take some time off work this is too much for you at 8 months pg. full stop this is too much. Your dh needs to share the burden more equally. I think taking ds to his office might be a wake up call for him. Drop ds and go and sit in a cafe alone. You sound desperately in need of a break.