I hated being on 20mg of citalopram, as much as i think it helped my anxiety i felt distant for months on it iyswim so last week asked to cut to 10mgs with a view to trying something different after... I haven't stuck to that though and have been a complete idiot and thrown them all away yesterday morning.
i just had a bit of a breakdown and decided i hate feeling like some freak who needs to be medicated. I know that's silly but i just want to be happy as myself, to not be depressed, to just make a simple choice to not feel that way anymore but i cant now and i have no medication to help and now feel worse than before and like breaking down constantly because i made the stupid decision to take things into my own hands.
are these just withdrawal symptoms or am i spiralling back to my worst and actually need something to function properly? I don't want to rely on doctors anymore though. I just want to be me...