At what point do/did you go to the doctor?

[margaritadrakeina]

Just that really. It has been suggested by my counsellor that I might have a mild form of personality disorder and he has recommended that I go to the doctor (although he realises that this is probably not likely to happen!) to see if they will prescribe me something. I'm not happy at all with the idea of taking medication, especially not long term. This is the first time this has been mentioned to me and so I spent most of last night on google and doing various personality disorder tests. I don't know how accurate these tests are, he mentioned Schizoid (he had a chat with a doctor friend of his about me) but the tests come back with very high Avoidant personality disorder. It suggested doing another test and gave me this back:

Moderate/severe depression

Based upon your responses to this depression quiz, you appear to be suffering from a moderate to severe depression. People who have answered similarly to you typically qualify for a diagnosis of major depression and have sought professional treatment for this disorder. You should not take this as a diagnosis of any sort, or a recommendation for treatment. However, it would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek further diagnosis from a trained mental health professional soon to rule out a possible depressive disorder.

I don't think I can contact my counsellor today, wont be able to speak to him until Monday. I'm a bit confused, should I tell him this? Should I step away from internet searches? I wasn't expecting this, I'm feeling a bit thrown by it all. Does anyone have any advice for me?

Not sure what qualifications your counsellor has? Would be good to see your gp and tell gp what counsellor says - primarily so you can receive correct professional support via the local community mental health team. Stop googling! Ring your gp x

Very good ones and lots of experience. Plus which he's the only person I (almost) trust. I've never met my GP, avoid doctors as much as possible.

Oh, Margarita, :( for you. If you can face going to your GP, that would be the best starting point. While I have no deep-seated fear of doctors, I was scared of presenting with a mental illness. I wrote a letter to take to my appointment, as I felt too embarrassed to be going in and talking about my 'feelings'. Lots of people do this for similar reasons, turns out GPs are used to it!

I've also, on occasion, written to my GP and just sent the letter, asking for a phone call if I need to go in. Would you be able to do either of these approaches?

Depending on funds, it also occurred to me that you could see a shrink privately on your counsellor's referral.

I do hope one of these routes will feel do-able for you. It's worth taking care of You. All the best

Btw, it's a bit pointless doing forum diagnoses, but I'm "avoidant" although it's a depression/anxiety symptom in my case. Finding ways to work around my 'avoidance' is generally more productive than trying to tackle things head-on, hence my prolific use of letters.

Thanks for your answer garlic Funds are an issue, as is of I go to the gp then my DH will find out because he will see the bill. He doesn't know about the counselling. And I'm not in my native country so it will all have to be in a foreign language. I'm sure it is quite daft to do the forum diagnoses, I did two different ones, they both gave back practically the same answers. I looked it up on wikipedia and of the 16 signs, I recognise 14. How do they decide which is the cause of which? I mean, you say that you're "avoidant" because it's a depression/anxiety symptom rather than being depressed because you're avoidant. Is it really an illness, or is it just being different to most people? Can I ask what happened once you'd seen your gp? Were you given drugs/counselling or nothing? I was writing an email to my counsellor, asking about this, but I've not sent it yet and not sure if I should.

To be diagnosed you need to ask your gp to refer you to a psychiatrist. Bear in mind most people in the population would be somewhere on a pd spectrum as my psych told me. Also most PD's do not benefit from medication, if you read the Nice guidelines. Medications can help if depressive, psychotic etc however.

I was given both drugs and therapy, but this was is the UK and on the NHS. Avoidant Personality Disorder (if it still exists as a diagnosis?) is an inbuilt thing to do with the way your brain works. My avoidant behaviours are a PTSD symptom. I'm inexperienced with describing this, but here goes: I'm irrationally afraid of doing stuff - it's not that I expect anything specific to happen, but have the feeling my actions may kick off some horrid consequences. I haven't always been like this. With PDs, the behaviours tend to be more of a deep-set belief: if you had Avoidant PD, you would 'know' you had to keep a low profile, like you know you have to eat every day. You might find this website useful. The navigation isn't up to much, but it's enlightening to click around it and read up on things.

There have been big advances in therapies for Cluster C disorders. I imagine anti-anxiety meds could help somewhat with managing the symptoms, as well (not a doctor caveat!)

Your domestic situation sounds worrying, Margarita. What does your counsellor feel about your hiding your concerns from your husband? I do hope you have supportive friends or family there, but it's clearly very hard for you if you're scared of DH. Please keep posting.

Thank you garlic and hoop. He has also said I should maybe get something for anxiety/panic attacks if they become any worse/more frequent. As for not telling DH, my counsellor knows the situation and is in agreement it's for the best for now. He wants me to get myself sorted before we address any other issues. I have no family except the kids here and not really any close friends, just a couple of families I know through the children.

Oh, this must be hard for you, Margarita. Feeling isolated makes even the most balanced of people anxious! I assume you're not in your home country? How long have you been there?

3 years (as a SAHM) here now. Moving around for a while before that though. Actually, things are a bit easier now I'm feeling that at least I'm doing something about it and am not completely alone. At least now there's someone I can talk to and get advice/help from and ask what is normal. I'd lost so much sense of perspective it took me being minutes from walking out and leaving the DC's to realise that maybe something wasn't normal!