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Mental health

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Original poster

Alcohol problems Advice

18 replies

RoxyFox211 · 20/06/2013 13:58

Hi, Hope im posting in the right place, couldnt find a specific alcohol forum. I have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol which is affecting the quality of life for me and my family. I am not alcoholic as i do not drink every day. However if i go more than a few days without drinking i get very uptight and angry and even more depressed than usual. Once i start drinking i find it difficult to stop and am always out way after my friends have gone home or everyone else has stopped drinking. Most times i drink i will not stop until im physically incapable of moving, lying in the bathrrom floor passed out, vomitting or in any other way completely trashed. I always wake up after a night out with a completely blank memory which i can only guess means i have put myself in a vulnerable position and become a complete nightmare for my friends and family to deal with. I guess im classed as a binge drinker, but my question is where can i get help and support to end this cycle. If i was an alcoholic i could go to alcoholics annoymous but as a binge drinker i really dont know where to turn. I feel really depressed and sad and want to stop drinking for my family, but at the same time i do not have any hobbies apart from drinking and my whole social life and friendships are based on a mutual love of alcohol so i feel if i stopped drinking i would have no friends. would love some advice please.

OP posts:

Original poster

RoxyFox211 · 20/06/2013 14:54

Anyone in a similar situation or managed to kick the habit??

OP posts:

OliviaBenson · 20/06/2013 15:35

Hi OP. didn't want to leave this unanswered. In the relationships topic there is a thread 'brave battle bus' which might be able to help you. You might not consider you fit the label alcoholic, but you do have a problem with alcohol (whatever it might be labelled as) and well done for recognising that.

I would say that support groups will be able to help- issues with alcohol do take many forms.

You could also speak to your doctor about it?

Best of luck.

Original poster

RoxyFox211 · 20/06/2013 15:50

Thanks so much for replying. Will try there !

OP posts:

kelticwitch · 20/06/2013 15:57

It's a difficult one Roxy, been there. It's hard to get out of it whilst you're within the same circle of friends and that's your social life. I managed as a result of moving (for work reasons) and then deliberately not getting drawn into the same drinking circles. I'm not sure I would have changed if I hadn't moved but as OB says try the thread with the experts on. I still drink but do other things as well.

SnowyMouse · 20/06/2013 16:39

here is the thread.

Original poster

RoxyFox211 · 20/06/2013 17:17

Well done for breaking the habit! Nice to know you can manage to drink and not let it get out of hand. I didnt drink at all during pregnancy & bf four years ago, just dont have the same motivation now. Thanks for the replies, will check out that thread :)

OP posts:

Lonelybunny · 21/06/2013 14:19

I'm going through a bit of that . I use it to calm my anxiety. I drink nearly everyday but some days just 1/2 drinks on other days a lot more but never to the point I'm passed out. However the next day I do feel down and depressed so it's a vicious circle :(

TVTonight · 21/06/2013 15:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

RoxyFox211 · 21/06/2013 20:32

Lonelybunny- :( its definantly that! I dont have the answer to it myself but i agree about the anxiety, its probably the reason i started drinking heavily again after dd was born, and then the hangovers are so bad that sometimes the only option is another drink to level you out. Im trying to get out of it but cant think it is going to be very easy.I dont know if your already on there or not but the "brave babes bus thread" which someone recommended earlier in thread is very relevant to the situation and think could be quite helpful :)

TV tonight- Thanks for replying. I know i have a problem but wasnt sure if i would be welcome ( know that sounds silly) at AA meetings without having the physical addiction that would require detox etc. I think the problem is pyschological (at least for the moment but i know its a slippery slope, trying to nip it now).

The trouble is i just love to drink, im thinking about it right now, i love drinking at home, out, by myself, listening to music, with a meal, in the cinema, argh anytime anywhere i just love to drink and i cant make that go away even if i dont give in to it.

OP posts:

SodaStreamy · 21/06/2013 20:42

I'm sure whilst you might not be able to make it go away , you might find a way to 'tone it down'

You say you love to drink but when you drink you can't stop and are on the floor vomiting.

That' not a good night out that's a problemtic relationship with alcohol.

How much are you drinking?

Do you have children around?

Original poster

RoxyFox211 · 21/06/2013 20:53

Not when i get that drunk, that is normally the result of spirits and shots which are pretty much stirctly consumed in the pub. Still not healthy though for me to be hungover the next day, compelled to go out so much or to waste so much money on alcohol. So yeah there is a problem. The vomitting isnt a very frequent event (as far as i can tell), it is the memory loss, complete blanks, accidents and other stupid drunk things which bother me most. I probably drink about (tries to work it out...) 30-40 units on a good week... embarrased..up to 80+ on a bad week. Although the bad weeks are rare, rarer at this time of year than over winter... I knwo this is bad. This is why im here. Its just it really isnt that unusual out of all the people i get on best with, pretty much they all have similar drinking habits to me which is why its why difficult to change it.

OP posts:

Lonelybunny · 22/06/2013 08:18

Yes that's me , I just can't resist , I'm exactly the same , makes it harder for me though as I'm always driver so I can't drink if we are out for a meal for example so I drink a lot indoors. Last night I took the kids out straight from school and we didnt get home till 8 which meant I didn't pour a drink till 9'then I was so tired I went to bed! On a Friday ! But it helped cause usually I would start at 6pm

corblimeymadam · 22/06/2013 08:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

RoxyFox211 · 22/06/2013 08:30

Sounds like having a distraction is really the key, but it scares me to think i could spend a lot of time distracting myself and no time doing what i actually love which is drinking. Maybe it gets easier after a week, but ive just never managed to actually make it that far. We'll see how this week goes. I know what you mean though, this is why i dont class myself as an alcoholic because i can go without easily if im tired, busy etc ..but only for a few days.

OP posts:

tribpot · 22/06/2013 08:51

I think you have mistaken the nature of addiction. It is possible for some addicts to go days (or even months) between drinks. I was the opposite in some ways - I drank every day, perhaps had two dry days in a year, but when I finally quit I had no physical withdrawal symptoms, much to both my and the GP's surprise. I don't know why - I was drinking more heavily than you - it's just how it goes. It doesn't make me not an addict and it certainly didn't mean that I didn't have cravings.

I think you need to make the very difficult step of making your problem real. Tell your GP, go to AA - these are scary things to do but it will start the process of recovery if you want it to.

The book that really helped me was this one. It is very non-judgemental - it's written by a problem drinker - and it doesn't focus on 'difficult' vocabulary like alcoholic.

I have been where you are - please make use of the help that is out there. You do have a problem with alcohol, the exact label doesn't matter. AA will help, your GP will help, but you do need to take that first step. It seems inconceivable that life can be enjoyed without alcohol but it can. Good luck.

Original poster

RoxyFox211 · 22/06/2013 09:38

Thanks for the reply. Will look in to it. I feel silly because i always make these promises to myself on a day of feeling rough but as soon as i start to get over the binge (like now) i start back tracking, thinking it would be so much easier to just carry on as i am. I managed not to drink last night but felt like absolute crap. Feel much better to day. Will look at that book cheers :)

OP posts:

tribpot · 22/06/2013 10:27

I used to be unable to sleep on my rare dry days, I couldn't stop my brain from racing around until at least 2 in the morning. It was a real disincentive to quit, even though I did feel better in the morning for having had (some) restful sleep.

I honestly don't know how I would have given up if I hadn't have managed to make myself extremely ill - it's difficult to believe that you're doing much long term damage when you're still functioning.

You've started the process of change - I can promise you it's worth it. It may take you a while to get there but keep going.

pinkchoccy · 23/06/2013 19:57

Hi if when you take a sip of alcohol you cannot stop until you pass out is classed as alcoholic. It is the inability to stop after a couple of glasses. It isnt how often like you say binge drinking. It is the not being able to stop drinking more and more when you do drink.

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