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anxiety and terrible gp experience

13 replies

puddleofpiddle · 20/06/2013 12:16

Hi, I don't post on MN very often these days but after my appt with the gp this morning I could really do with some advice.

I have suffered with various MH issues over the years, mainly depression. I have been suffering anxiety attacks on and off for years but they are usually only one or two days and connected with my cycle so I just wait them out, I've never been to the gp about them. The last couple of weeks though I have really been suffering and consequently, so have my family. So I got back from the schoolrun and made an appt. They had a cancellation so I took it although it was with a gp who is not very tactful or supportive, I took as I thought if I don't do this now I will end up putting it off again.

On the walk up I went over (and over) in my head what I would say so I wouldn't mess up and miss the point. I got called for my appt, went in, sat down and said I had been suffering with anxiety a lot lately and needed some help.

GP started asking what had caused it, said I wasn't sure but I was finding it hard to tolerate loud noises, short tempered with kids when they argued etc. He asked if I was a single parent, I said no. He asked if my relationship with my partner was ok, I said no and that he hasn't been very supportive. He asked about my sex life, I said it hadn't been very good.

Then it got weird. He started telling me to talk to my dh and come to an arrangement to meet his needs and suggested that I should probably not have sex if I didn't feel like it but how about a hand-job or other little treats for him? Then at least my dh would stop getting annoyed with me for having anxiety.

He then went on to talk about my son's aspergers, money worries, and told me to consider stopping my son's supplements as they were costing a lot of money and anyway children grow out of aspergers...
He prescribed me diazepam and told me to come back in 2 weeks.

On the walk home it dawned on me just how out of line he was. I literally walked the whole 15 mins open-mouthed at what he had said. I had gone in to deal with a MH issue and had been told to service my huband to gain his support or at least keep him quiet.

So I phoned the practise to make a complaint. The practise manager told me to put it in writing and said it would be dealt with within practise (the gp is a partner). I was just getting started on my letter when the phone rang. It was the GP - he was ringing to apologise for us getting our wires crossed, he hadn't meant what I thought, it had all come out wrong blah blah blah. I had hime on the phone justifying himself for 10 mins!

I have had the most strange morning, I suppose at least now I'm angry and not anxious but ... I was right to make a complaint wasn't I?!

OP posts:
LEMisdisappointed · 20/06/2013 12:25

You were absolutely bloody right to complain, i think that consultation was at the very least inappropriate. In all my days of being at the doctors with anxiety, counselling and various doctors, not once have i been asked about my sex life. He rang you because he knew he was wrong and is now shitting himself.

For one thing, what the actual fuck is a two week supply of diazepam going to do? You say you anxiety is connected to your monthly cycle so addressing that should be his first approach with possibly some longer term ADs and referral for counselling.

I am incredulous and Angry on your behalf. I absolutely do think you should put this in writing, you do not want your words twisted. Its made my skin crawl - he suggested you give your DH a hand job? he actually said that?

I would log the phone call as well - he should NOT have contacted you

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 20/06/2013 12:27

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puddleofpiddle · 20/06/2013 12:28

he did, and 'other little treats' vom

I've never liked him but I can't believe he overstepped the mark by that far. I'm also a little pissed off I was doubting myself after he spoke to me on the phone...

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LEMisdisappointed · 20/06/2013 12:28

Most important here is getting yourself sorted out, i think you shuld try and get an appointment with your GP, refuse to see this idiot of a man and tell them you do not wish to discuss it.

Could you post this in legal, or chat? because there will be posters with more experience but i honestly think this doctor has crossed a line here and will be busy covering his backside.

LEMisdisappointed · 20/06/2013 12:30

vile, just vile - I would actually be conserding legal action if this happened to me. Totally unacceptable. Unless its some sort of diversion therapy - feck, ive been anxious as hell this morning and now im bloody angry on your behalf, maybe thats something the NHS could consider? But seriously - seek advice.

puddleofpiddle · 20/06/2013 12:32

Alibaba - do you mean my post is bullshit?

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puddleofpiddle · 20/06/2013 12:42

LEM - I'm actually starting to feel a little shaky at the whole situation. I've had run ins with this gp before but I just put it down to him having a poor bedside manner. I can see the logic in 'going through each area of your life and dealing with one thing at a time' as he suggested but as soon as he started about what I should be doing to help my husband deal with my anxiety issues, I just wanted out of that room but I felt trapped so I switched off to the rest of the appt.

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puddleofpiddle · 20/06/2013 12:46

It took a lot of courage to go about my anxiety, I had a dreadful experience when I had pnd - different gp that time but same surgery - I was told to pull myself together and that I had nothing to complain about. At the time I had just had dd 11 months after I had ds2 and it had taken a lot of courage to go and ask for help, I've always been reluctant to go back since :(

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puddleofpiddle · 20/06/2013 13:10

Just left a message with PALS and I'm waiting for them to call me back.

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LEMisdisappointed · 20/06/2013 13:46

You have been treated really badly, yes, its hard for partners, god knows i have put my partner through hell, but its not your job to make him feel better about it, and a hand job? i mean, really? I hope you get somewhere with PALs.

TheFantasticFixit · 20/06/2013 13:52

I'm outraged by this. So glad you have the strength to complain - I wouldn't be keeping this in house either. I can't believe he called as well! I hope that you are able to find proper and appropriate treatment for your anxiety but am very Angry on your behalf. Good luck Thanks

puddleofpiddle · 20/06/2013 13:54

thanks LEM - finally got hold of my mum so at least I can speak to someone IRL. The ludicrous thing is, I never said he was pestering me for sex (he's not btw!) the GP just took it upon himself to offer me this 'advice' Shock

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puddleofpiddle · 20/06/2013 14:43

thanks Fantastic - I'm thinking I will probably take someone with me for moral support when I go back. tbh I've kind of lost faith in all the GPs at the practise, they have some really good locums on occasion but none at the mo :(

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