Managing low mood/depression without antidepressants

[blimeyohriley]

Hi all, I am feeling very low atm. I have a history of depression but as am ttc do not want to take ad's. I am trying to eat healthily, sleep as much as possible and exercise when I can but am wondering if there is anything else I could be doing/trying to get through this low mood? Not too keen on seeing a counsellor at the mo either but perhaps I should re-think this...

Thanks

Sorry to hear you're feeling low. Could you talk to your GP about what options you might have while TTC? I would bear in mind that becoming a parent can be a pretty testing time when you're in the best mental health, so probably best to get a handle on this now.

Having said that, I wasn't at all keen to try betablockers when I was struggling with anxiety so I do know where you're coming from. I did a bit of research, and put my own support package together. For me that was finding a fantastic counsellor, committing to regular weekly pilates sessions and also having a regular massage. Apparently relaxation is great for anxiety, and I have done so much better since then. Even survived having DS relatively intact - I touch base with my counsellor every so often, and I've picked up pilates again when DS was about 5mo.

So, I hope that you can find something that will work for you. I'd definitely encourage you to re-think the counsellor - is there a particular concern you have that's stopping you trying it?

Hi

There is a twelve step anti-depression programme. Sorry - can't link to it as don't know how to bring up a second window on this computer, but if you google 12 step programme cure depression it should come up. Although ADs is one of the steps - the others are really worth trying out. It's pretty thorough and I'm trying it at the moment as I really want to taper Ads down to nothing - fed up of the side effects.

One thing it suggests is a need for a high level of omega 3. I take a 1mg supplement every day now. That's also very good for ttc (allegedly makes babies' brains more capable) so no harm in doing it.

Exercise 30 mins minimum every day - enough to raise heart rate.

Spend at least one hour outdoors in direct sunlight.

At the end of every day, write a gratitude journal - just make a list of things you either enjoyed that day, that made you happy or laugh or that you feel grateful for.

The first three steps help boost the brains happy chemicals such as serotonin. The last one is like CBT - just help progamme the brain towards happy thought.

Also heart coherence which is something so simple and I've found it immensely helpful. As soon as you feel anxious, angry, nervous - any negative feeling, breathe in slowly and deeply, visualising the breath expanding your heart and making it buoyant. Just two breaths whenever you need them.

Some people also swear by tapping therapy/acupuncture etc. Worth a shot.

sorry for typos - hope the above makes sense.

There is another thing I've learned about recently, in the quest to cure this bloody illness. I read a book called The happiness Project - and the author talks about feeling 'right.' You can feel good or bad and you can also feel 'right' which is where, even if things aren't going well, you have a core sense that you are in the right place at the right time. From the big stuff - in the right home/marriage/job etc, down to small stuff: doing exercise that works for you, regardless of what others do, decorating your home the way you like it, even if it's not fashionable.

It's interesting how useful this is as a guideline. The more we set ourselves on the 'right' track as opposed to some good track of someone else's devising, the less likely we are to feel stressed and down.

Sorry for the lecture. It's just something I've put a lot of research into recently because like you I really want to get well without ADs.

Ooh, some interesting thoughts there apatchylass. The `right' thing really resonates for me. I have something similar - I think of it as authenticity. It's really important to me, and testing out whether something feels authentic, or congruent, for me has really helped me.

OP, hope you're doing okay.

For me it was accepting that depression would always be a part of me and it was up to me to learn how to manage it on a daily basis. What works for me is, if I'm feeling low I first of all use a sort of reverse psychology and attribute my low mood to anything but my depression. Because I find it's all too easy to label it as depression without first considering that it might actually just be something that people without depression may experience.

So for example I will attribute it to having not slept very well, coupled with the fact I am worried about paying xyz bill etc (you get the gist). If I absolutely cannot reconcile anything in my head, then I will acknowledge my depression and give it some headway. For the day. Or maybe two. Tomorrow is always another day for me where I wrestle with it. By doing that I feel I am acknowledging it, letting it rear it's head every now and again, not dismissing it or pretending it has gone away. But I will not let it "win". I have been in the grip/depths and no way on this earth will I let it take me there again!

Don't know that my "approach" would work for anyone else. I know it does for me and I feel more in control of my life than ever before.

Hope you find something that works for you.

Shakey that's really brave. It's truly never occurred to me to handle it so honestly and directly. I admire the way you describe handling it. I've always done the opposite - shoved it under the bed and pretended it didn't exist until it really grew so hugely distorted it couldn't be ignored.

But, though I really admire what you describe, I'd pettily feel resentful at having to give it so much attention. I feel it's robbed me of so much in life already for so long (had it since teens) that to be constantly acknowledging it and adjusting it just adds to the time it takes up. Although maybe it's like children - if you actually listen to what they are whining about and agree instead of re-directing them, they cheer up far quicker.

Yes I understand how it could feel resentful. But to be perfectly honest, I'm finding that, if anything, I'm giving it less attention. Or at least it feels like it.

I do feel my heart sinking when, try as I might, my other tactics don't appear to be working BUT perversely, when I say (in my head...well...sometimes out loud !) ok, ok, you win for today, I find myself being extra kind to myself. A bit like, allowing yourself to grieve after a bereavement? In that, it's ok if my hair looks a bit straggly today and my eyeliner is a tad wobbly. It's ok because I have allowed myself a valid reason for it to be so, temporarily. Once that allowance has been "granted" it doesn't seem as bad.

If that makes any sense?

As background, 6 years ago I was aware I may have depression (shit childhood and traumatic miscarriage), had it confirmed and was put on AD's. I had a bad reaction to them and ended up in a psychiatric hospital for two weeks. I came off the AD's, started counselling which was a disaster (different people, no consistency). In general I'm a stickler for good service and, when I realised that the MH service I was getting was appalling I threw the book at them and resolved to do something myself.

It works for me (so far!)

It's hard with ADs and ttc, isn't it?

I am on Sertraline 100mg at the moment and will be thinking about ttc from September.

I know that if I come off them there is a 70% chance of relapse and the risks to the baby are tiny BUT... it just feels hard to think about taking ADs during pregnancy. I can't see I will be ready to come off though.

I like "The Happiness Trap" which basically describes an approach like yours Shakey... basically befriending it, even if you don't like it... and this helps me too. I am also doing a lot of Mindfulness. These things help but.. I haven't tried them drug free and can't risk a relapse right now for myself, my husband or the other kids.

So tough isn't it?.

Thank you everyone, there is some really helpful and useful practical advice here. Yes, it is very tough. I am so up and down, much more up today though. I just feel so different every bloody day, I never know how I am going to feel one day to the next.

I don't really fancy counselling at the moment as I feel like I am at a stage in my life where I really want and need to focus on moving forward, not dwelling on the past and going over everything/analysing everything.

I am really trying to live in the moment, it's hard, but definitely the way to be!

Hi blimey, glad you're feeling more up today.

On the counselling - that sounds like it's more about the type of counselling you try, so it's definitely worth asking around. Mine's NLP based and is indeed focused on moving forward - the way we talk about the past is more to understand where the patterns I'm experiencing might have come from iyswim. It's mostly focused on doing stuff now.