Self Destruct Button

[lucyhaslost]

The intention was to kill myself. I have hidden how I have felt for a very long time. i am the one who copes & holds everything together.

I can't do it anymore. I have had enough,

No one is listening.

So sad to read you feel this way, do you have a family that takes you for granted or is it something more that makes you feel unable to cope, what feelings have you hidden away and do you have no one you feel able to tell, the fact that you have written this post says that you do not really want to end your life, nothing is worth doing that life is always worth living, you need to summon up the strength to make people listen and this site is a great way to get yourself heard as here is always someone here who will listen

Thanks mrsm

my head is all over the place. my brother has severe depression. my mum has memory loss & has also started telling me things about my dad - he raped her etc. i don't know how to deal with it, iknow i should support her.

my husband has just spent the weekend abroad with an ex girlfriend. he works away most of the week. we have 2 very demanding children. the youngest doesn't sleep much (his development age is above actual age), i get 3 or 4 broken hrs sleep a night max.

i want to go back to work, but husband said he would give up work if i did, i would therefore have to pay bills i cant afford. i'm stuck. he keeps me on a very limited financial allowance.

i havent washed my hair in 2 weeks, toddler can climb over stair gates, switches on gas etc.

i went out for a drive last night, i got stopped, could not give breath sample due to asthma.
my head isn't 'withit'. i'm on fluoxetine, i have severe memory lapses, im only supposed to take one tablet a day. i forget what i have taken. i maybe take 3 or 4. this happened yesturday. sometimes i cant recall what happened 5 mins ago.

i want it to stop.

With fluoxetine why not get a medicine weekly box where you put your tablets in labelled boxes for each day of the week so that way you only need tokbwi what day of the week it is and see if you have taken it. Use Internet day of week if struggle to know that.

Going to work sounds helpful if you want to do that. Can you try talking to dh again about why he would feel the need to be at home if you worked. If he had no salary And you only one working he would have no money either so would he really be happy having no money and all day at home? In reality he prob would work so why not look at working if it is what you want. I found being at home alone much worse than working for my MH.

why didnt i think of that - re medicine box? thanks Hoop. i will try that.

i'm being charged for failure to give a sample. i was arrested. i did give blood test at police station.

i will carry on doing things out of character.

i recently joined a dating website. i only stay in contact with men who i know are not right. because i don't deserve anything more, a few minutes with someone who pretends they care.

h is very manipulative, i think he enjoys pushing me to breaking point.