fear of losing someone

[schmidt]

wasn't sure where to put this.

Right now I'm sat here sobbing. I am so scared of the idea of losing my grandpa. He is in fairly good health for his age but is 90....I know he can't live forever but Im so scared of losing him. My daughter absolutely adores him and every time we visit spends the entire time sat on his lap giving him cuddles and feeding him sweets! We drove up to see them for a few hours yesterday and since leaving I haven't been able to stop crying. Im very close to him, we share similar interests and I love sitting and listening to the stories he has to tell about the war and his life. You could write a book with the things he has stored in his head. I really need to record some of it down because he has some fascinating tales. Some of which I haven't even heard.

I really don't know what Im going to do when he isn't here any more. Its hard to see him because he lives so far away and we cant talk on the phone because he is deaf.

Im a mess and I don't know why.

Is there anything else going on in your life at present?

Also, you might like to post this in bereavement.
I know he hasnt gone yet.
Not sure.

It could also come under the heading of writing!

Are your parents still alive?

My mum is, my dad died when I was fairly young so my grandpa has been a bit of a rock for all of us.

We have had a horrible year and everything is just beginning to settle down. I have anxiety problems which is why im probably getting myself so upset over this.

He is just such a lovely kind man, always worrying about me and the kids and making sure we have enough money. He is the old fashioned type, they don't make men like him anymore. When I was little I always used to tell people I was going to marry him :) . He always tells me he is proud of me and how I have done a good job with the children. Apart from my ds he is the only male relative I have.

I'm crying again just typing. I think I just realised how special he is to me and that time isn't on our side. I'm going to make sure I visit more frequently and spend more time with him.

He sounds lovely
Yes, sounds like a good idea to try and spend more time with him.

I think the best thing is to try and increase your contact with him - but not just visiting as I know how hard thst can be when you're not local. Can you write to him, send him a quick postcard or pictures your DC have done, photos of the children. (All these things are appreciated by my nan who's 93 and struggles with the phone.) He'll enjoy getting personal mail as it's so rare these days and he'll have regular reminders that you're thinking of him.

It's lovely that you have such a good relationship though.