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Mental health

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Original poster

Help me please

21 replies

PinkMangoSays · 30/05/2013 23:58

I'm just lying here crying. I'm being so irrational. I have suxh a good life compared to everything I read on here I'm just so upset. please someone kick some sense into me.

I'm too upset to even bother to wok out how to. Ame change. I can't talk to anyone in real life because having a crying fit and feeling like this is seen as being completely mental which I feel like I am. Ah

OP posts:

NoPartyDay · 31/05/2013 01:20

Not "completely mental" completely normal
We all have sad, rotten days Life is full of disappointments and sadness.
None of us are immune to this. Cry if you need to. We all do at times.

SugarandSpice126 · 31/05/2013 01:32

It doesn't matter that you think you have such a good life compared with others - doesn't make you any less upset, and your feels are just as valid. Is there something in particular that's upsetting you? We're all irrational sometimes, it's part of being human..so don't worry about that.

Ilikethebreeze · 31/05/2013 14:46

Do you want to say what is upsetting you?

Original poster

PinkMangoSays · 31/05/2013 15:40

I'm really embarrassed by this now. Thanks for all your kind comments. It's just it was my birthday and my boyfriend said he didn't see why he had to be specially nice to me or call me yesterday (we are long distance) and because it was the last day of his exams at uni he was out with his friends and couldn't call.

Sorry for being so stupid i feel so removed from it now. I don't know why I get into such states where I think everything's the worst and it's so petty and trivial

OP posts:

Ilikethebreeze · 31/05/2013 15:48

Thats ok. Glad you feel better.
fwiw, your boyfriend should have still tried hard to call.

NoPartyDay · 02/06/2013 14:03

Glad you are OK
Nothing wrong with expecting him to want to say happy birthday and shock horror, maybe spoil you even?

Original poster

PinkMangoSays · 03/06/2013 15:41

NoPartyDay That wouldn't happen. We've been going out for 5 years, for the past 3 I've had no birthday or Christmas present

OP posts:

Elquota · 03/06/2013 17:45

Your boyfriend is behaving selfishly, I think. It's not petty or trivial, it's normal for couples to treat each other with consideration on their birthdays! I wonder why he's making excuses for behaving like that instead of apologising

Original poster

PinkMangoSays · 04/06/2013 05:08

Probably because he's fed up of dealing with my 'mental' behaviour and massive anxiety/panic attacks I get where it becomes impossible for me to think rationally.

OP posts:

harrap · 04/06/2013 16:28

Sounds like you are feeling a bit better and I don't want to bring you down again but... Maybe your relationship is good the rest of the time but it sounds a little bit like you bf is blaming you or is manipulating you into blaming yourself for some pretty selfish behaviour. Wanting a little bit of attention on your birthday is hardly irrational or "mental".

Some people don't go in for valentine's day because of the commercialism but not buying you a Xmas or Birthday present is rather extreme. Has he explained why? Beware of blaming yourself for his bad behaviour.

Elquota · 04/06/2013 16:51

Beware of blaming yourself for his bad behaviour.

Yes, I couldn't agree more!

You deserve better

Original poster

PinkMangoSays · 04/06/2013 17:08

Well the reason is he says he hasn't got anything is because If he did I wouldn't like it anyway. I'm of the opinion that the thought counts and a single posted cheap card would satisfy me If he didn't think grand Grstures and so forth are the way to go.

I know you said don't blame myself but over the past few years I've caused them trouble with my anxiety attacks and the behaviour surrounding them and the little bit of babying and extra love and care I need when they happen. I've been an inconvenience for both him and family. I understand why I'm lower in their priorities now. I'm just seen as a pian to deal with. Fair enough. I just feel so isolated at times now. Would love some more friends but I'm scared in case my mental behaviour comes back and I'm too scared to tell them what's going on. That I'm not acting strangely for fun...

Sorry the whole post is probably very garbled but I rarely get to talk to anyone about it and when I spoke to the gp on the phone this morning they said. What do you expect us to do to help ? We cant help you orherwise . I just cried because I thought medical people would try to or attempt to help. Of course I didn't know ehat to so otherwise I wouldn't have been there.

And what a long ramble... Feel free to ignore my brain just went into exlode mode and as its online I don't feel so constricted

OP posts:

Original poster

PinkMangoSays · 04/06/2013 17:10

Just in regards to the birthday situation he wouldn't back down in his stance of why should he treat me nicely and I was getting more and more upset and worked up about it. So I just said lets move on and not talk about it. Because to be honest i wasn't in the right frame of mind to thrash out an argument on birthday etiquette

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Original poster

PinkMangoSays · 04/06/2013 17:14

I'm also aware you are only hearing my side and his might be. My girl is lovely at times but completely mental and goes off the rAil at times and needs a lot Ipf support which I can't give

OP posts:

Ilikethebreeze · 04/06/2013 17:19

Not sure what to say about your boyfriend.
Is he generally ok.
As regards birthdays and xmas etc, ask him, and remind him if necessary that expecting a card is reasonable. And if he is afraid of getting the wrong thing, say he can give you cash so you can get sonething. I know some on here may disagree on that, but it is what some of us do anyway.

A long distance relationship is tricky.
I presume you are happy for the realtionship to continue?

GP. Again, not sure what to say.
Were they asking you what you wanted the appointment for?

No need to be embarrased on here.
And if you think you have said something embarassing[which you have not], you can name change afterwards.

Elquota · 04/06/2013 17:20

Can you see a different GP in your practice? Of course they are there to help you and it would be better IMO if they were good listeners and offered helpful suggestions. There are GPs who understand, so don't waste any more time on ones who are going to be patronising and useless!

You don't "cause people trouble" by having mental health problems, any more than someone with a physical illness is a troublemaker! If anyone is treating you as an "inconvenience" because of the problems you go through, then you're better off not relying on them.

There are good friends out there for you, and don't be afraid to tell them about your anxiety so that they can support you. Good friendships and relationships are where you're accepted for who you are, and which make you feel better, not worse.

Ilikethebreeze · 04/06/2013 17:22

re your last post which I have now seen.
That may well be so. A person can only give what they can give.
I suppose the question for both of you,at any time as with any other couple, is whether they want to continue with the relationship.

Elquota · 04/06/2013 17:25

Also, you're being very hard on yourself by referring to yourself or your behaviour as "mental". Calling something/someone "mental" is usually meant in a derogatory way, as an insult. This is very unfair (both to yourself and also anyone with mental health issues), as mental illness is real and not the fault of the sufferer. You're a person who happens to suffer from anxiety, not "a mental person"!

Original poster

PinkMangoSays · 04/06/2013 20:31

sorry for the "mental" thing, it's just what all my family calls me when they are fustrated with any of my behaviours. I feel it is used as a derogatory term towards me but I don't know how to refer to myself/someone with these issues otherwise.

Regarding the bf I would like to stay with him but if he doesn't want to be with me I understand but wouldn't want to be strung along in the long-term.

In terms of support I don't have any, I feel like I'm imposing on any friends who have their own issues. That's why when I had that panic I came on here which is strange in a way because it's a much larger wider world but it's more anonymous. I also want to say thank you just for even replying. It might seem just a few posts to you but having people reply me helps so much.

OP posts:

Ilikethebreeze · 04/06/2013 20:40

You are welcome Pink

NoPartyDay · 05/06/2013 16:43

If you think about it you are brave to have anxiety/depression so long with no great support/treatment and despite that keep persevering.

you can go beyond bravely only just coping off and on with such awful symptoms, and start to tackle it with support like Mindfulness Training for Depression,mediation classes, any exercise you can do daily like Zumba, Tai Chi, long long walks, and see GP if you want. it can help to start being kind to yourself/take care with how you present yourself/treat yourself/say kind things to/about yourself Many of us like you have/have had anxiety/depression too

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