I am so fed up of feeling like this....

[SomethingAboutMary]

I am just feeling so crap today, i have up days & down days, have been having some good days recently but today is just one of those crap emotional, can't think straight kind of days & i just feel like totally giving up

I feel so angry with the fact i have PND i also feel like a failure, i just can not seem to get back on to the road to normality, i dont want to see anyone & i have no confidence at all.

I have arranged to meet one of my firneds tomorrow but thought of it is scaring me, i cancelled last week so really feel like i have to go, in 1 way i want to go because i want to beat the way i am feeling, but in another way i don't want to go because i feel so down, emotional & not like i want any company

When will this end? i just want to be me again, i cannot believe this is happeneing to me, it really is making me feel like total crap.

obviously ranting to myself sorry

Sorry you are feeling so low SAM

I think if you can face it then go and meet your friend tomorrow - it is so easy to isolate yourself when depressed, but being with friends is good therapy, and I'm willing to bet you'll be glad you went afterwards. Alternatively, perhaps your friend could visit you at home?

Are you getting any help from your GP (or someone else) for your PND?

Have you spoken to anyone about your PND. Your are not a failure.
The friend you are meeting tomorrow,do they know what you are going through at the moment.
What about you gp or HV.

Hi sorry Dd has been having a screaming fit.

Yes the HV knows & so does the Doc i am on Ad's but still seem to have these bad days.

My friend does know all about it i only told her recently but she said she suspected it because i had gone quiet for about 2 months,she also has had a baby but its her first.

I don't know what we are doing yet if its raining i was going to go to her house for the morning, but if its sunny think we were going to go somewhere in the afternoon.

I have not cancelled it because part of me is thinking i may wake up tomorrow & feel ok because thats what happens, but the other part is screaming noo i can't do it.

I just feel totally fed up with it all, i don't want to feel like this i just want to be normal again if that makes sense?

I think i should stop ranting on here its not really my style

sorry to hear u r feeling so low.Sounds like this is this child no 2 for you.I have 2 one is 2.5 one 6 months how old is the little one? I have to say that the first five months with the 2 nearly sent me totally nuts I felt so low .Am only beginning to feel ok now little one is sleeping better.Its bloody hard with 2 please dont feel u r a failure at all.I have to say getting out of the house did help so if you can and feel up to it try to see your friend.have you considered seeing gp or hv just a thought.Hope you are feeling better soon big hugs

oops as you can see i didnt read the whole thread properly ignore the hv /gp bit

Thanks for the undertsanding.

don;t really want to see anyone, think the HV & doc have probably had enough of litening to me moaning & crying.

It is no 2 i have a ds who is nearly 4 yrs & dd is now 4 months, she sleeps through the night & has done since 6 weeks, its not really my kinds that get me down i am coping fine with them. I can not even put my finger on why i feel the way i do, but i just get very emotional, upset & want to be alone.

Blimey my spelling says it all, i can not even type right today

Awww Fiofio thank you thats lovely of you, i understand what your saying, it's just days like these that really are hard at times, i am just taking 1 day at a time feeling a tad better this afternoon probably cause i know Dp will be home soon

I should be grateful i have 2 beautiful children, actually i am very grateful i just hate the fact this PND business has got hold of me.

thanks for listening to me rant, i really needed to let it all out this morning.