Can't cope with work anymore - what are my options?

[Empross76]

Hi there,
I posted this in 'The Staff Room' the other day, but thought this was worth a post in 'Mental Health' too.
I've been teaching for just over 10 years, part time for four. I suffer from depression and anxiety. I'm finding it increasingly hard to function and am signed off work at the moment.
I feel like I'm doing a rubbish job of teaching and that for my mental health things would be a lot better for everyone if I could just STOP work.
But - we can't afford it. We need my wage.
I feel so trapped and unhappy and I fear that if I keep on trying to spread myself so thin then I'm heading for serious trouble like a breakdown.
Does anybody know anything about stopping work for mental health reasons - any benefits? Early retirement? Health cover as part of my job?
I'm at my wits end here and really need to do something rather than blundering on and waiting for an inevitable and spectacular crash.

I had to stop in early 2007 as I was suffering from severe depression. I got full pay for a while, then half pay, then statutory sick pay and DLA ( or whatever it is called now). We struggled financially, seriously, and then my benefits were stopped as I had a meeting and they decided I could work - despite being scared to leave the house!

I applied for untold jobs but ,y only op thin was supply teaching, and I did odd days for about six months. Then I did one day in a school, in April 2010. I'm still there. The school clicked for me and I now class myself as fully recovered, although I was nowhere near ready to work back in 2010.
All's well that ends well.

Hi Empross sorry that you're having a tough time. There was a thread similar to this a while back but I can't find it at the moment. Are you receiving treatment for the depression and anxiety? I understand how you are feeling as I gave up work a year ago due to mental health problems. I had OCD and was barely holding it together in work. I was on sick leave for 12 months and when it became clear I was not going to improve enough to get back to my job (in the NHS) I was allowed to take early retirement on ill health grounds, meaning I could access my pension early. I feel so much better since giving up work.

I would suggest you speak to your GP and occupational health department about how much you are struggling, and your options.

ReluctantBeing - that's great, I'm really glad it all worked out for you.
OnceIPop - I guess we are both public sector so it might be similar for me. Can I ask, was your pension comparable to your wage? We really can't survive on less than I bring in at the moment.
I'm scared to stop working financially but scared to continue mentally. I feel stuck!

Hi the ill health NHS pension had two levels. Level 1 meaning you are deemed unable to return to your previous post (or something similar) but could potentially do some sort of unrelated work in the future - resulting in a pension based on amount already paid in. Level 2 - unable to work at all - pension increased by 2/3rds of remaining years (to age 65) I received level 1 which equated to a lump sum of about 1.5 years wages and an annual income of around a quarter of my salary (I was part time) for life. So not equivalent to my income but better than nothing! Had I qualified for level 2 I would have received an annual income very similar to my previous salary plus a very large lump sum!! No idea if other organisations operate a similar system. I also qualify for Employment Support Allowance at the moment which is about £300 a month.

It is a really difficult decision but there is no harm is exploring your options. Is the job itself a trigger to your illness? Would you be better looking at doing something else - I'm guessing teaching can be pretty full on and stressful at times?

Thanks for that info. It's really useful. I've been struggling with teaching for a long time now. I find it stressful and it makes me anxious. I'm part time now which means less stress in some ways but I find it harder to be 'on the ball' with everything. Due to depression I find motivation hard at times, especially with the extra hours I need to put in at home. And the ADs I take affect my focus and concentration.
I just feel like I'm doing a bad job and struggling to do even that. I can't see it getting any better and I'm scared to keep on trying. I want to stop work and really focus on trying to get better and to get a quality of life back again. I can't see me being able to do that while working, it's just too consuming.
Thanks again for the reply.

Hi Empross, I was in a similar situation to you last year, our circumstances are different but I was exhausted and unable to continue with my job. I second speaking to whoever deals with occupational health (I was in the NHS so it's different). I know what you mean about "a crash" as I was virtually there. Mine was due to exhaustion in trying to work ad care for DS who is autistic.

I have been out of work for the past year and am just going back. In the past year I have had loads of counselling and support which has helped me no end and I feel like a different person.

I had to go on to benefits as I am a lone parent, the DSS could not have been more helpful, even they could see I was in an impossible situation at that point.

If it matters, I have made big decisions regarding work and am going back to something totally different and less demanding.

Hi. In public sector work the sick pay is quite good, so worth staying off sick whilst you cans till get money, as better than benefits for most people, definitely the 6months full pay and 6 months half pay plus statutory sick pay.

Has work referred you to OCcupational Health yet? Or have you not been signed off long enough yet? They can be helpful, keeping you signed off and on work sick pay etc. you can then use that evidence for any claims for benefits etc further down the line. Or they can(after your year off sick and on pay!) suggest a gentle phased return. The advantage of this is it may be as little as a few hours a week but you:

1. get full pay
2. it triggers another full cycle (or used to so check it out with your union!) of sick pay. So doing that puts you 2 years either recovery, going onto any possible benefits or asking for early retirement on grounds of ill health.

Thanks Hoophopes. I've been off for six weeks so far, being referred to Occupational Health so should be hearing from them soon. Seeing GP again tomorrow.
Sounds like there are options, but don't want to have to get to rock bottom to trigger them - want to pre-empt if I can as I have family responsibilities - I don't want to have a breakdown! DD is already aware that I am off work and I don't want her to worry about me.
Getting early retirement seems like quite a long process, then? Did you find that stressful, to be drawn out and ongoing?
Thanks again for the information.

So, what is the role of Occupational Health, then? Are they there to support us or the interests of our employers? I dealt with OH before when I took time off with depression and I just felt nervous that they were trying to catch me out and just wanted to get me back on work ASAP, for my employer's sake. Have I got them all wrong and was just being paranoid before?

Hi I am not retired but had nearly a year off work at one point. As you can get a good 6mth full pay I would urge you not to give that up. Lots of people have absence off work so perhaps you can tell your dd that you are having to be off until you see a dr and that takes time.

early retirement on medical grounds takes time as they have to discover whether a person fits that criteria which they cannot do in a short meeting with you. Good thing about your job is the sickness pay and the fact that OH are independent of your place of work. They can advise what is best for you to do. They may suggest time off work ( they cannot speed up health care options sadly!) or a phased return to work. If you try what they say and it does not work then they can consider other options, whilst you are still paid!! So if you go to them expecting an early retirement then they may still try other options first, or they may not.

Hope appointment goes well.

Why not contact CAB about what benefits would be if you chose to resign etc as an alternative, but obviously after sick pay ended, so another 4 and half months full pay still to come.

Would you consider other work that had no work at home needed?

I found OH very supportive when I was off with depression. They are there to assess if you can return to work straight away, if you need more time off (they signed me off for longer!), what adaptions might help a return to work ... Such as few hours a week to build up, no duties etc. I doubt any OH for any company would say someone is to retire due to ill health after a few weeks off work, so they will monitor how you go and if you are unable to return to work look at other options etc.

It can help if you tell them why you cannot cope at work and what help you would need to do your job. What aspects can trigger anxiety etc. I found being honest with them worked. Such as exploring medication and other physical health issues that may be implicated. You could talk about financial stress and need to earn money etc.

Thanks Hoophopes, I really appreciate your replies. What is CAB?
I'm trying to jot down how I'm feeling as things can get a bit 'fuggy' and I can struggle to articulate myself. Am hoping that will help with OH if and when I see them.
Thanks again.

Sorry it stands for citizen advice bureau, a place to go to seek advice for financial issues, benefit help, legal issues etc. free place for advice by trained people!

Marking my place - too tired to post now (chronic insomnia) but didn't want to read & run. I'm a fellow teacher in a similar position.

I found occ health very helpful and understanding. Although looking back I was in a bit of a state and I don't think there was any doubt that I was unwell and struggling. I initially tried reducing my hours and adjusting my workload to try and continue working, but it was not sustainable and I eventually went off on sick leave. But I never felt under any pressure from them. They seemed to be on my side, even though they were employed by my Trust. In fact it was occ health who initially mentioned ill health retirement to me. I agree with previous posters that you should make the most of your allowed sick leave though.
By the way have other treatment options such as CBT, mindfulness therapy etc been explored?

I saw my GP yesterday and she's upped my dosage of ADs and signed me off for the next month, probably to be extended for the rest of term.
I'm on the waiting list for counselling/CBT. I have tried counselling and a stress management course before. Occupational Health should be in touch soon and according to my GP there may be an option for counselling through them.
I'm feeling relieved that I'm off at least until September. Am trying not to think to any further ahead than that at the moment, but it's good to know from all of you that there are options for me. Although, the fact that they are all long term does terrify me a bit - I'm a bit anxious about the uncertainty rumbling on. Thank you so much for al your responses.

Hi, it is good you know what is happening in coming months anyway. You never know a good rest, the ADs and some sun (well can hope for sun!) may make all the difference.

I suspect that if you weren't depressed you wouldn't be finding work so hard, or believe that you weren't doing a good job.

My advice would be to not take any firm decisions while you are off sick. Take the time to get better, take the ADs and have some counselling and then when you're better, reassess whether you want to leave work or not. Also, when you are well, you'll find it easier to plan and think about what else you may like to do.

I saw Occupational Health yesterday and have been referred for CBT. No return date was mentioned so I feel relieved that work isn't bring pushed.

Am really hoping CBT helps.

I was like you 18 months ago. I was on ADs that had stopped working and crippled with anxiety and depression. I was due an observation, and had to go and see a hypnotist just to calm me down enough to even write the bloody lesson plan.

I was off for 6 months, then had a phased return. It's now a year since I went back. The 6 months off really helped me get away from the stress and calm down. I am much much better, coping and am on different Ads. I look back on that period, and can't really see why I got in such a state, but I did.

I found OH useless tbh, but we are an academy so ours were privatised.

That is great.

Hi, empross,l'v been teaching for 24yrs and have been expriencing dep/anxiety, on informal capability for a bad yr9 book review! was on this last year and passed ok.But had a unsatisfactory lesson ob last week and due for another this week!but just crashed with stress.saw doctor, signed off 4 2 weeks.Have refered myself for CBT.
l have Sertraline AD took one very nervous didn't take one last night...know l should perserverve.similar finacial worries;2 children,single parent,just can,t think straight and have been worried since jan.

Orangeanddemons - I'm glad things worked out well for you. I am getting occasional fleeting moments when I feel like things might get better, which is progress for me! So it's good to her from people for whom this is true.

Twinky2 - I'm sorry you are having problems. We do sound to be in a similar position.

After OH meeting last week, things have moved fast - have my CBT assessment on Friday! Am really hoping I respond well to it and can alter my thinking so that I cope better. It seems like a tall order but I feel like it's now or never. I can't go on like this, and definitely can't return to work with this - I'm like a ticking time bomb!

Got a meeting with my boss and HR rep in a few weeks - apparently I can have my Union rep there if I want. Bit scared about that as my paranoid mind is in overdrive as to whether I need one there because they intend to sack me or something! Maybe it's just standard protocol. I don't know!

Thanks again for all the responses and support.

I still have my dark moments though..........

Gosh that is great response, did not know OH could accelerate medical help. When you have next meeting you could make helpful noises about how cbt will help you but you have only just got assessment done and awaiting the allocated number of sessions to start, or say only done a quarter of them so still too soon to start return to work etc!! Will give you reaching space over summer then and more full sick pay. Would you consider a phased return whilst still doing the cbt to help you do it?