Feel really crap

[Rocklover]

First of all let me apologise as to some people this may seem really trivial, but it's really getting me down. At moment my life is pretty rubbish, but the reason I feel so low is because I can't drive. Now I know this sounds terrible, but I'm 32 and have had many driving lessons (never a test) and I feel like I will never drive and it is suffocating me.

I have IBS and when I go out on driving lessons I get really stressed and this makes my IBS worse. I take tablets, but sometimes I have to ask the instructor to stop so that I can go for a pee, which is a side effect of my worring (TMI sorry), it doesn't happen every lesson, but I find it really embarrassing, although my last instructor was fine with it.

I know that if I could just let go of my worrying I would enjoy lessons and probably pass fairly quickly. A last straw today, got caught in the rain with DD on the way home from Tescos and got soaked, just made me even more depressed that I couldn't drive. Am I mad?

Have you tried some relaxation techniques before you do the lessons? Deep breathing that sort of thing. I know what you mean about wanting to drive, everytime I am out and especially when it rains I wish I had a car. DD has even started saying-'why don't you get a car mummy, it would be so much better for us' Although her ideal car would be a topless pink thing with glitter on. I toook some driving lessons last year and they freaked me out, I worry about stopping in time. So, I stopped them, must really start taking them again

try & find a Driving instructor that specialises or is really good with nervoud drivers. My DH is a driving instructor and has had a few referrals from his pupils because he's so good with nervous pupils. If they say they're good with nervous pupils in the ad, they'll probably be much more relaxed during the lessons and this makes you relaxed too.

Many thanks for the advice ladies, I will get back on the saddle again soon! It doesn't help that the rest of my life is so crap at the moment. I am seriously not in love with my DH of four yrs (8 yrs in total), I am trying to lose weight which is not working, I have a really bad back that I am being treated for, but cannot exercise, pick up DD etc, it's also stopping me from getting a PT job. To top it all off my IBS is making me nervous of going out, just feel like a really useless person.

(((((HUGS))))))

Tell the instructor about your back they will want to help and be upfront about ibs. They're there to teach you (and want the work).

You will feel more free to go places and that would give you the confidence to change things.

It took me ages to pass but its worth it.