PND - who did you tell?

[GadaboutTheGreat]

I've been struggling with my feelings since the birth of DS last year; I haven't really bonded with him at all and even though he's an 'easy' and happy baby, I often wished he would disappear

Anyway after reading a support thread on MN this morning I finally admitted to myself and DH that something's not right.

I haven't yet been to the doc although I did go 18 months ago when suffering badly from sleep deprivation with DC1, so there is some vague history there.

DH was totally a little shocked by my breakdown and hysterical blubbering; he did try to make me feel better and refute my claims of crapness, when all I really wanted was for him to listen and try to understand. I'm glad I told him though.

I'm interested to know who other people told of their PND, and what kind of difference it made. I'm wondering whether to speak to my DMum, she probably suspects anyway but not sure what it would achieve, IYKWIM.

Sorry this is a bit waffly

Anyone?

Tell your Mum, now. Mine got me through it; she was 70, I was 40 but she is still my Mummy.

I told DH, GP and HV (as well as DM) but otherwise no-one until long after it had resolved. That worked for me but if you're more of a sharer then to tell others too might work better for you.

Thanks resipsa. I'm not usually a sharer, but it's felt quite a relief to have told DH today how I'm feeling.

My friends think I have the perfect life, perfect kids, perfect home etc. I feel like a fraud talking to them

Hi, I told my mum, she helped loads with day to day help and just talking. I found her much more supportive on the emotional side than my dh.

I also told quite a lot of friends, it's really surprising how many other women have struggled with pnd, anxiety or just found things a lot harder than it may seam from the outside.

Tbh I didn't really keep it a secret, it's nothing to be ashamed of! My friends have been great, people like to be confided in and help. You may find others share their stories with you too.

DH and I had talked about it in the past - I had poo poo'd and thought what good could anyone do anyway (I was rather unhelpfully unable to see the wood for the trees). First person I actually admitted yes theres a prob i need help with was Dr - had been about my DS and it all just tumbled out.

Then told my DM that I'd been to dr and been prescribed anti-depressants - not a surprise to her at all! My DM basically gave me the push to take the first tablet - which was the pivotal moment in me feeling better (so, so much better - life changingly!).

For me talking to DH wasn't the key to change for me - it was too easy to blame him (unfairly) for him just wanting me to see a dr to give him an easier time. My poor sweet DH!

Telling my DM was key as it helped me see that it wasnt necessarily something that everyone feels as she was saying same as DH independently. Plus when I was hovering over taking first tablet she literally stood over me and ordered me (with love, its for your own good) like only a mum can do!

Good luck with your Pnd ((swift hug))

What anti depressants did they give you?

I told my OH. He doesn't completely understand but does keep checking that I am alright. He doesn't understand that PND is not a "here today, gone tomorrow" illness. My mum knows - she has seen my mood swings. She has suffered from depression for most of her life, so she does understand but cannot offer me any help.