PND and occupational health

[suzyq1980]

hello
i'm hoping there is someone out there who can help me.
I've battled with depression on and off through out my life after the unexpected death of my dad when I was 6yrs old, after having my little one everyone was worried i have PND but I was fine until December when Hayden was 7months when I was diagnosed and medicated by my dr. I was due to go back to work in April but due to the PND and anxiety problems my dr has signed me off sick. My employer (the local council) have referred me to occupational health. Although after my 1st assessment the occupational health have agreeded I'm not 'fit to work' I don't feel at all supported by them at all. The nurse's statement that I 'need to regain control of my emotions' has left me feeling belittled and ashamed.
I feel so lost and alone, am I just over emotional?
:0/

Oh I commiserate. I work for the NHS and have been through the same rigmarole. Due back at the OHP next week I think. It's just a hoop they make you jump through. I found the nurse wasn't very helpful, I don't think she had a clue what I was talking about and it just felt like I was telling someone with no clue about me or my condition all my deep dark secrets - when they'd had a report etc about me from a specialist psychiatrist!

It's a horrible system.

The PND itself makes you feel worse about it though, remember that. It's very harsh to be told you are not fit to work when you at home being a mother to a child but think of it as what you need to do to get paid during this time.

Thank you workin9while5 I feel so alone in all this, it's nice to know somebody else has been through this too. I feel like the Ocu Health nurse really wasn't interested or understanding in the slightest!! Her 'you need to gain better control of your emotions' comment made me feel so stupid :0(

Stupid cow.

How horrible for you - as if you need more stress. People who haven't had depression/anxiety have no idea how utterly debilitating it can be and it's not a case of 'pulling yourself together'.

I forced myself back to work and ended up having repeated panic attacks in the toilets. A horrible, horrible dark time.

On the other hand though I would have been having panic attacks etc at home and at least I was getting out of the house and keeping my finger in at work. Is there any merit in you going back do you think?

I've asked for part-time at work and been turned down its either 5days or nothing for them! which jst adds to the stress.
I've started getting very anxious about going out on my own with my LO, I feel like people are looking/judging every 'parental move' I make :0(
How did you cope with the panic attacks??
it really felt like the occupational health nurse thought I was pathetic and jst needed to 'pull myself together'. Feel so embarrassed as it is everything I go the chemist for my antidepressants xx

Oh I totally understand - five days wouldn't have worked for me.

I have slowly learned to deal with my panic attacks and now no longer have them (although I think I'll now always be an anxious person).

Basically I have identified what it feels like for me to he panicked or to have an anxious thought. For me a panic attack would start for different reasons but mainly with feeling strange. I would then worry I was going mad/was dying/was going to collapse. All of these anxious thoughts would always start with the words 'what if'. So now I know if a 'what if' thought pops into my head it's just an anxious thought and I mentally discount it as such. If I start to feel weird I also repeat 'this too shall pass' in my head. And it does! The more you desk with them the more confident you get and the less it happens.

I never let my anxiety stop me from doing anything - it would kill me sometimes but I'd do whatever was needed. I think that's really important. You need to power through otherwise your world will get smaller and smaller and you could end up shaking on the couch all day.

I told my boss and occupational health about my PND and they couldn't have given a shit. I thought people understood about these things, that they're not a 'pull yourself together' thing, but unfortunately they don't. It's absurd and so upsetting but that's the way of the world.

• the more you deal