I was advised to post here after posting in parenting, and I saw my GP on Friday who told me it was likely I have PND so I thought it might help.
I don't really know how to lead in gently so I'm just going to try and get it out as best I can. I have a month old DS, my first child, and I haven't bonded with him at all. I look at him and I feel at best nothing and at worst annoyance/frustration/trapped. My DP is clearly entirely in love with him, my best friend and his godmother adores him and I just feel so awful and inadequate. I can't seem to bring myself to even try to interact with him in a maternal way, I look after him but I always feel detached. I know I should smile at him and talk but it's like I physically can't bring myself to.
I've considered leaving a lot over the past couple of weeks. I feel like he'd be better off without me, he'd be much happier if he had a mother figure who was any good at being a mother rather than someone who feels nothing towards him and is doing it all because she has to. I had to stop breastfeeding because I just couldn't bear it anymore, and I feel now like he really doesn't need me anymore so I could go. I just want to leave. I know that's terrible and awful.
I'm not fully sure why I'm posting... I think because I don't know how to explain this to DH and I need to let it out somehow.