Abortion, Divorce - but so many good things!! What is wrong with me??

[andwhatnow]

Please help, I desperately need advice to help me through a rough time.

The last three years have been somewhat of a rollercoaster but I appeared to sail through it relatively easily. I left my husband at the time after months of soul searching - he was a good husband who had become like my brother but I also met somebody else who I fell in love with. It was a hard decision. We have a son now aged 12 who we share custody of.

I kept my distance for quite a while from the man I fell for, but over the last few months we began a 'proper' relationship - we do not live together but have good times and are taking things slowly. My son seem relatively settled, I have a good job, albeit stressful and good friends, plus our marital home has finally been sold so I can sort out a few financial difficulties and am now in the process of hopefully buying my own house. It all sounds so good doesn't it?! However, in January, I had a termination after accidentally falling pregnant by the man I am now with. The contraception failed and it was a real shock for both of us. I knew instantly I did not want to carry on the pregnancy and he was a fantastic support. It was a relatively straightforward procedure and life carried on.

But for some reason at the moment I feel so bloody emotional. It is worse around my period but I am starting to feel nervous, paranoid almost, I have even started questioning obvious things and am just so sensitive to things my partner says. I feel insecure at times and lost actually, yet things are no worse, if not are certainly better than they were. I mention the termination because it is the only thing I can think of that is making me feel emotionally 'wrong'. I do have to juggle alot in my life and, as I mentioned, my job is stressful plus I am the sort of person that people lean on.

I need a boost and am just so concerned that I do not feel balanced. I keep crying. I enjoy a drink socially and always have, but am aware I am drinking a bit more, something I wouldn't normally do. I know that I am going through a divorce, moving etc but I just feel that I should feel so much more optimistic as I am with a man I adore and I want to look to the future. Any advice??

Sorry to hear how you are feeling. You've been through a lot of ups and downs. As you say, the termination may have had this impact on how you're feeling, but it's one of quite a few things that have happened to you recently.

Do you feel you would benefit from counselling at all? Or a visit to the GP to rule out either depression or another physical cause for how you're feeling (thyroid, iron, hormone levels etc.)

If you're crying all the time and feeling oversensitive, and this goes on for more than a short time then I'd start to suspect depression. This could be "reactive" in response to life circumstances but can also just occur anyway.

Also if you can find some other ways to de-stress to replace alcohol then it could be beneficial. Alcohol is a depressant so it won't help you feel brighter or more positive. Do you have supportive friends and family around you? How about taking a "tonic" vitamin supplement? Do you get enough sunshine and exercise, and relaxation? St John's Wort is a herbal antidepressant which can work but it does interfere with the contraceptive pill.

If you're crying all the time and this goes on for more than a short time then I'd start to suspect depression. This could be "reactive" in response to life circumstances but can also just occur anyway.

Sorry, excuse duplicate paragraph - midnight copy and paste fail!!!