Is this normal or do I need to see a doctor?

[sillymillyb]

I'm writing this on my phone so apologies if this doesn't read very well or my grammar goes funny.

I have had a bit of a rubbish time lately, my son is now 1 but I've been alone since I found out I was pregnant. I've also been having some problems with my mum which I have other threads on, but basically I was sexually abused by a foster brother as a child and she knew about it and allowed the placement to continue. I recently found some notes she had been keeping on me saying I am a bad mother and am mentally deranged amongst other things. We have now had a massive break down in our relationship.

Sorry for massive intro but I don't want to drip feed.

whilst I don't think I am depressed, I have felt like I have been struggling lately. I often find myself on the verge of tears for no reason, and I feel utterly overwhelmed. I'm not sure this is new, in fact, I think I have been surviving rather than living for quite a while now.

I feel like I'm letting my son down, that I'm not taking pleasure from my life like I should and I feel overwhelmed and lost.

I am having psychotherapy to deal with the childhood abuse and issues with my mum, but I don't know if.i need to go back on anti depressants, or if this is just normal because of the situation I am living in at the moment.

I don't want to feel this way, I have just moved house (last week!) and I want more pleasure in my life. I want to be happy, and I don't know how to achieve that?

Is this just normal? Does everyone else wish their life away?

I think I read another thread by you. Your mother sounded toxic and cruel and you sounded rather lovely but crushed. Your circumstances are difficult that makes life hard but you know it can get better. Gp? Yes, check out what they think. Homestart for extra support, groups at your children centre... get support where you can. You have been let down by those who should have helped you, it will take time to build yourself up but you can do this. Be proud of your ambition and keep moving forward.

Can you ask your HV to refer you to a support worker ? Or call your local sure start yourself for one? Join some groups too and if you feel like you're struggling to cope and anti d's worked before it might help.

I find routine of going to certain groups/park etc really helps me and just keeping us both busy (or in the night garden on to amuse him at home haha). We've just got into a great new routine and I'm finding after struggling for months (and going to docs about restarting citralopram) that's what's helped, still overly emotional unfortunately!
Hope you're feeling better soon