had enough just don't know what to do

[icannotdothis]

evening all

my mind is going mental again i feel so stressed and my anxiety is at the max :(

it has been over a year since i tried to kill myself resulting in admission my dh was so suportive

yet as i have felt worse over the past few weeks i finally sort support again from gp yesterday who did a med change yet dh has only hone on about this subject since then

are you ok
how do you feel up stairs
whats wrong with you

:(

tonight has just gone from bad to worse i feel dh has taken the piss out of my situation.telling me to get a grip and that.my nightmares about my childhood abuse are stupid and that i'm 30 and i should grow up

dh walked out i then locked him out

i am now alone freaking out and scared

thanks to.anyone who has read this.far

just crying

Hugs :( I didn't want to read and run. Is there anyone you can talk to in real life/real time as well? There's the Samaritans 08457 909090.

Oh sweetheart please ring the samaritans. They will listen. Sorry your dh is not able to support you. You are not alone even if you are the only one in the house. Call them. They are there to listen xx

thanks snowy

i was thinking of ringing them but have no idea where to start :(

no one else to talk to

what if thats it my relationship over?

we have 3 wonderful children

the urge to s/h is overwhelming it only because the kids are.in the house that i am doing nothing

Your relationship doesn't sound over to me. That urge will pass, you have to wait it out and stay safe. Talking will help. So will lots of tea. You can ring samaritans and say what you have written here.

he's banging the door

now sat in the car

what do.i do i'm just so upset

Why don't you let him in, and have a talk?

he's the type to not speak and go in a mood for 3 days

Ok, but how is locking him out helping either of you?

Let him in, if he goes into a mood and sulks then maybe he is one of the reasons for your anxiety?

My DP really cannot cope when i "have a fruit loop" he just doesn't understand that i can't just pull myself together and "live my life". He was really quite shitty to me the first time i had a breakdown, he just didn't get it. This time, he is different and really understanding and i think he is very worried about me, he still thinks i can just be ok but i can't, i understand where you are just now. But i also understand your DHs frustration at not being able to help.

Seriously though, let your DH in, don't let this escalate into a row, you don't need that just now. I know he isn't being the best of H just now, but you need to get some rest and you wont if you don't let him back in.

Sending lots of unmumsnetty ((Hugs))
I know it feels shitty.. take some deep breaths and let dh back in, you don't even have to talk to him if you don't want too. Just focus on cantering yourself and calming down.

I realise I sound like a loon but I go through this horror nearly every week

*center-ing ? I can't spell sorry!