feel empty

[DaysieGoneBananas]

Im not sure what I really want from paying but I just feel so empty. I am doing my usual and trying to fill the emptiness with food. My cousin just had a baby and I feel sad cos I won't have anymore and I feel guilty cos I already have 3 beautiful children why cant that be enough for me? My friend got a job back doing what we both arectrained to do but I just dont think I can do it cos ill never be good enough. Cant tell DH cos he has enough to deal with. No help with kids. Housea mess and ccan't get it all I tidy. Im lazy I can barely move have no motivation cos lets face it why bother cosbim useless at everyt h ing.
Sorry very needy post. [Sad]

Posting not paying..sorry cant even type correctly.

Oh Daysie you sound to me like you are depressed. I suffer from intermittent depression which can be quite severe at times and the word I mostly use to describe it is empty - also you seem to have feelings of worthlessness as you say you will never be good enough at the job. You mention lack of motivation and all these feelings are symptoms of depression. Don't apologise about being needy, cus that's how we are when mental illness strikes.

You say you are doing the usual and trying to fill the emptyness with food, and lots of people eat for comfort and if it helps why not, except that it won't fill the void, because that is in all probability caused by psychological distress and you may need anti-depressants rather than food!

I think you should see your GP and tell him/her how you are feeling. If that is difficult, many people find writing your symptoms down like a shopping list and handing it over. You won't be telling him/her anything they haven't heard before dozens and dozens of times before.

Take care and by the way you have not "gone bananas!!"

Thanks for the reply NN you gave me some great advice before on a different issue.
I've been depressed before but I have no real reason for being so I feel guilty about it.
My life is so predictable and I can't get myself out of it. I have nothing to look forward to. I'm so tired all the time. Ive had counselling and ADs before but the pills made me feel sick so I didnt rake them for long. Prob pdychological as I've had several different types.
Sorry I sound like I dont wantvto take your advice but I think I need a massive kick up the bum to jolly myself up.

No problem about not wanting to take my advice - my god if people followed all the advice given on here, god only knows where we would be! The important phrase in your post that jumped out at me was "I have no real reason for being so I feel guilty about it." That is one of the symptoms of depression, we feel guilty because we feel there is something we should be able to do about it, just as you do, and are talking about "kicks up the bum" to "jolly yourself up." We don't feel like this with a physical illness. It's another trick that depression plays on us, just for good measure.

You sound "world weary" Daysie and that can be a symptom of depression, but it could also be something physical and the fact that you have 3 kids is enough to make anyone tired. I remember feeling like that when I was bringing my kids up.

You say you had depression before - do you know the root of that depression. You say the ADs made you feel sick and you didn't take them for very long (not sure how long you mean) but the thing is that they don't work like taking paracetomol for headache........they can take 2/4 weeks to kick in and yes you could have side effects like sickness (but this can be a symptom of anxiety which usually goes hand inhand with depression.) Sometimes you have to have the dose of the AD adjusted or even try one or two before you get the right one for you. Sorry to keep banging on about ADs but I just know they saved my life and still do. I will take them for the rest of my life.

You mention you have had several different types of counselling and presumably have not found that helpful. I too went down the counselling route when my second episode of severe depression was building up (early 2010) but it was no good for me because my symptoms were getting worse and worse and I regret messing about for 3 months with the counsellor but that's water under the bridge. I think counselling/therapy is very good if there is some buried trauma in your life that needs to see the "light of day" and even then, there is no magic bullet as I'm sure you know, but I think therapy can help to some extent.

I still think you have depression (maybe mild) but you are mentioning too many symptoms for me to think otherwise. Also "kicks up the bum" don't work for depression!! But it's up to you.

Thinking of you.....NNx