Feeling like I don't want to be here anymore.

[SchroSawMargeryDaw]

I have a disability and have limited mobility. I can't even get to the local shops a 2 minute walk away.

Today I was turned down for DLA for the second time, I feel like life is pointless, I am stuck in constantly unless I can get a taxi somewhere and I can't afford it.

I have an 18month old DS and am 25 weeks pregnant (contraceptive failure), I am worrying so much about the future and it is only my DS and unborn DS2 that is keeping me here, I think.

I think I just need a shoulder to cry on just now tbh and to get it out that this is how I feel.

strted answering you and mn went offline! ill start again.

sorry you feel that way, i DO know, i have so much sh from DLA too, we have a car, DC AND I are disabled, we dont get a blue badge simply cos we can put our feet on the floor, we dont get ANY help with the car, and neither of us can walk more than a few paces, my car failed mot recently and i had to borrow £800. froma friend to pay it.

not trying to take your thunder at all, just want to say thank God you have a partner there, im completely alone with DC and if it wasnt FOR DC well i wouldnt be around.

have some from me.

and btw were all nice here on mn so there are plenty of shoulders here. you are not alone.

i know that, ive had a lot of encouragement on here. okay?

Hey, thanks for answering. I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself, it's a bit pathetic really.

It just feels like everything hits you at once and today it just felt too much. :(

I know. its one thing when its one thing at a time, just about able to handle it, its when everything comes at once and its like an avalanche.

ive had the mot prob, hit with bedroom and council tax, having to downsize as i cant afford the bedroom tax, DC and her autistic meltdowns ,knee probs getting worse (had another fall yesterday) and its AAAAARRRGGGHHHH! isnt it?

Its not nice to be like this but its also nice to know theres someone else in the same boat (the titanic!!!) that can understand and MEAN it.

and you're not being pathetic (kettle-black, i say it too). i hate the pity party but i try and justify it by thinking i dont want pity, just understanding and HELP, and im allowed to feel sorry for myself, its not selfish, its human.

and its just waiting for the next blow and not being able to enjoy a minute of the day. believe me, i know.

MargeryDaw why in heavens name did they turn you down, surely in your position you should get something?

I don't know, it said because while I have limited walking ability I am not "virtually unable to walk", which quite a lot of the time isn't true.

I've asked for a reconsideration and am looking to appeal. It would seriously be like a lifeline, I need to keep trying. :(

You will be the mother again. And your DSs need mother. You could think of the happy memory when you are upset. Cheer up.

While you are appealing do you have any people around who can help you get about?

I know my DH granddad,(who died before I met DH) was disabled after a stroke and his wife was told he was not entititled to anything following the doc assessment. Then, years later she somehow managed to get all the money she should have had there and then. I am not suggesting it will take this long for you, I am just saying that they can get it very wrong. Good luck with it

Thanks.

Yeah, I have my partner and family. If I get a taxi to the supermarket, I can normally walk round the supermarket with breaks and doing it slowly and holding on to something like the pram or trolley. It's simple things like going round the corner to the shops I can't manage but DP will do it for me.

Thanks for the messages, I'm feeling a fair bit better now. I think it just kind of floored me when I seen the letter and I'm panicking as I am meant to stop my ADs in the next couple of weeks until the baby is born.