I always cope, but today I didn't, I just cried. No idea what to do tomorrow.

[pepperrabbit]

Bit surprised really.
Have been feeling a bit overwhelmed, but I always cope, I multi task, I spin plates, organise stuff, volunteer for stuff. 3DC and work part time.
Last year I was physically ill, off work for 10 weeks, yesterday I got the all clear and should be happy.
So today, made a drs appt (nasty gynae discomfort), then I had a completely sensible conversation with my boss at 8am. I was working from home, nipped out to take the DC to school, got back, shut the front door and just cried. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.
DH came home, my mum came round. They made me tea and took me to the drs. DH phoned my boss.
I have abx for an infected cyst.
I'm not depressed, I was mildly depressed as a teenager and it doesn't feel like that. It just feels like the cyst was the last straw.
Dr suggested 2 days of rest and time to myself. She was lovely.
I feel a bit silly. Fragile, on the verge of tears (I look so crap after a day of blubbing!). I feel I should work tomorrow and write off today but what do I say?
I'm not really expecting a solution, but I'm here a lot and wanted to write it down.

I would follow your doctor's excellent advice and have a proper rest. Tell work you have an infection and need a few days off.

hi pepperabbit

sounds like a seriously crap day.

maybe you're depressed, maybe run-down, maybe something else. at this moment, it doesn't matter.

take the second day, give yourself some time and the opportunity to relax.

see how you feel then and whether you need more time or more help.

Could it be a little deeper? I had 8 weeks off work last year and when I tried to go back, working from home thankfully, I just burst into tears when I sat down at the computer, really big sobs. I think I had just reached the point of realisation that I did need to go back to work but that I hated it with a passion ... Looking for new job now! Just struggled thru last year but feeling desperate again.

Thank you all for your kind words.
I shall stay home tomorrow, will talk to my boss. Occupational Health did warn me that a sudden serious illness can leave you traumatised even when you have physically recovered so maybe that was it.
I do actually enjoy my job, but it is pressured with lots of responsibility.
I have a hideous weekend to get through with guests and MIL, and I knew I was right on the edge of coping, I was just hoping to get through to Sunday night, but overstretched myself I guess.
Off to bed now.

Have taken the day off sick and spoken to Occ Health again. They are very supportive and my boss was fine.
Hopefully with a rest and I have next week off anyway as holiday, I will feel more in control.
Still a bit tearful though . DH is circling cautiously.