Feel like im loosing the plot......

[npg1]

Hi everyone. A little background. Have 2 children from previous relationship. Now married and we have been TTC for over a year. I have had 3 cycles of clomid with no sucess, had a miscarriage last aug and would have been due in may (on the exact date my best friend is due)

I have felt down for a couple of months and went to the doctors 2 weeks ago and he prescribed citalopram and counselling. After my counselling session we have decided to give TTC a rest for a few months, its getting on top of me and stressing me out. But tonight here I sit, alone as DH is out and I want a baby so much. I have had a couple glasses of wine and I know thats doesnt help my mind.

I am also a childminder and have had a down day today, new baby for a couple of hours who screamed! Dont get me wrong I love my job and am a good childminder but today has been hard.

I feel like im 'on the edge' I have so much going on at the moment. DC moving schools because they are not happy.... Arghh I just dont know where to turn next. Hubby is fab but I dont like to keep going on about how I feel.

I just dont know where to turn x

Hi npg1 Sorry to hear you're having a tough time at the moment. I understand how hard it is TTC - it took me 2.5 yrs to conceive my first DC and that time was v hard, all my friends were popping them out.. (btw eventually conceived after following a nutrition programme from a charity called Foresight). It's great that you've sought help from the Doc and counselling sounds like a good idea - how often are you going? Sounds tough with your DC too, hope they settle in well. You're right about the wine - its not the best idea - it makes depression worse. I have been trying to stick to creme eggs

I know what you mean about not wanting to go on about feeling bad. But I think it is important to be honest about how you're feeling. Is there anyone else you can be open with as well - one close friend? Childminding sounds tough given where you are at the moment - do you work full time? Any chance to rest and take care of yourself (rather than someone else)? I recently ended up on the phone to the Samaritans and wouldn't hesitate to recommend them. You don't have to be suicidal and they are very good at listening and helping you unpick things when you're feeling stressed.

Take care.