Friendless, Depressed and Lonely

[Janos]

Sorry, I know this thread must sound like one bug whingeathon but I'm feeling so low and really need to sound off.

I'm on my own with my DS (18 months) who I absolutely love to bits and for the first time today in I don't know how long I really just do not want to get dressed. It looks like such a beautiful day outside and normally that would be enough to get me going but not today.

We also need to find somewhere to live and its an utter nightmare (landlord putting us out, long story, already gone over it here).

I'm looking at the dishes in the sink which despreately need doing, I need to cook lunch for DS and I just don't care anymore. I must be the worst mother in the world.

maybe you are just having a bad day. dont worry about not getting dressed . it sometimes does us good just to stay in our pj's and veg.

why not do the washing up, have lunch with yr DS and then just spend the rest of the afternoon in doors just relaxing together.

You are not a bad mother!

No you aren't. Everyone feels like this at some point. You are entitled to have an off day when you feel crap and you can't be bothered and you feel desperate. Make it today and tomorrow make a plan to make yourself feel better. Feed your DS then maybe go for a walk (if it's not raining where you are!) and show him the ducks or the park or something. Remind yourself you are a good mother having a bad time. Can you ring a friend for a chat and a moan? That sometimes helps, just sharing it out loud?

hi Janos, i know exactly how you feel. I was going to take ds out this morning but just couldn't bring myself to do anything.
also have a sink full of dishes, washing to do etc etc

I think I am going to try and make an effort for this afternoon though, maybe you can too? does your ds still have a nap in the day?
if so use that time to get washed and dressed and decide what you'll do this afternoon

Janos......you are NOT the worst mother in the world and I am not at all suprised you feel so low.
Where abouts do you live? (just wondered if its a nice day there...bloody pouring with rain here)
I confess to having had too many days to count where I have not wanted to get dressed, go out etc etc and so many people feel like that.
It is easier said than done isn't it but it really is true you will feel better !!! get out of the house even if its just for half an hour.
Don't be too hard on yourself about the way you feel right now.
I wish I could help ......and I feel like a billy no mates sometimes

Thanks both of you..I think you're probably right. I'm just worried because I had awful PND and am worried that I'm sinking back into it.

HV is coming over this afternoon so will talk to her about it.

Aw sorry that should be thanks to all of you!

i definitely find that getting washed and dressed makes me feel a lot better... although making myself do it is a differen matter entirely!

amn glad the HV is visiting so you'll be able to discuss how you feel. and you know what? even if you are beginning to sink back at least you KNOW and that will make it so much easier. If you recognise that you're feeling low then you can stop it befiore it gets too bad

Once you have been depressed, you take every low day as a sign that its all slipping out of control again, but its usually not - everyone has low days.

Getting dressed (and putting on makeup) does help.

I set myself a time limit (2 weeks), and if I still feel low, then I worry... not got to 2 weeks in 3 years :)

How did your day pan out Janos? I hope you are feeling a bit better.

Thank you for asking KBear. Feeling a little better but still low. Am going to the doctor on Friday (earliest I can manage it..)

Pat yourself on the back for being usually great and coping so far. We all have off days. You cannot be 100% all of the time, don't beat yourself up for it.

throw the dishes in the bin (without washing them up first) - and then praise yourself for being non-materialistic...!