I need urgent advice please :-(

[WobblingToday]

I am sitting in a coffee shop having what I think is a panic attack of some sort.
I am due in work at 11am, but do not know how I will get there. I have an important day today, including a crucial work event I need to attend tonight.

I am bipolar. Diagnosed last year after a frightening manic episode. I have been struggling with a very bad depressive episode since September. I see the psychiatric team once a month and am taking medication. I had started to feel better in January, but I am struggling with enormous anxiety again. I just do not know what to do. I never have self harm urges or suicidal thoughts etc - thats not how I react to stress - but I have the most overwhelming urge to just run away, jump on a train or plane to anywhere but here...and that is always a sign that I am about to slide into a bad depression again. I am really scared.

Realising you're not feeling great is a good sign, you're in control so you'll be ok :)

Is there anyone you can call? I'm sure no matter what kind if day at work you have, if you're not feeling good they will cope without you, can you call in sick and go home?

Thinking of you, you're going to be ok

Is there any way you can call someone from the psychiatric team? Or a friend who is good at calming you down perhaps?

I can chat to you here if you like, sorry I have no experience here so I must not be much help.

Or could you just go to the doctors and talk to someone?

Thanks for replies.

I am psyching myself up to ring the psychiatric crisis team, but I dont know if they will see it as a crisis if I am not having thoughts of self harm.

I dont feel in control :-(

I cannot really ever explain how I feel to other people. I am a 'coper'. I dont like people to see me collapse. Not sure what words I could use.

Are your work aware of what is happening, as in the general picture? Is the anxiety attack you are undergoing related to what you are meant to be doing today? If, yes, do you know why? Is it because you don't feel prepared or is it not related to what is happening today?

Hi Maggie. No. Work dont have a clue about my illness. I have never taken a day off related to it and as I am self employed and this is a contract, I have never felt comfortable telling them.

The anxiety isnt reated to the event tonight, specifically. I am well prepared etc. but in general, yes, I find work very hardgoing currentky. Its not the role - its well within my capabilities - but I am sufferng quite badky with social anxiety. If I had my own way, I wiuld just stay indoors alone all the time.

The important bit (reading through your op) is this evening. Which gives you all day to fight through the anxiety.
Do you have any methods of coping that you have used successfully in the past?
The fact that you are put in public when you'd rather be hidden at home is a massive thing! I hope you realise that.
This may sound a bit daft but have you ever tried rescue remedy? It might be worth running into a chemist and grabbing some.
Also doing something to distract yourself for a couple of hours like playing on the akinator.