Can't cope with pressures of college and family....

[moonmanic]

I was'nt sure which board to post this on, but figured mental health may be the most relevant.

In a nutshell, I feel I have way too much on my plate at the moment and feel very overwhelmed by everything with the effect of feeling incredibly powerless and apathetic to be proactive about it.

I am a single mum of DD who is 18 months old. Last year I made the "crazy" decision to enrol on both an OU course and an accountancy course at my local college, with classes 2 evenings a week. At first I seemed able to balance my studies with looking after my DD - taking her to lots of playgroups, the zoo, keeping up with housework etc. About a month ago I failed an exam on my evening course and this has led me to spiral into a sort of depression where I just feel like I don't have the energy to do any work, I have this "oh whats the point" attitude.

I am so knackered. I can only study in the evenings when DD is asleep and its just tiring the hell out of me. She still wakes up 2 or 3 times a night so I'm long term sleep deprived also. My parents are able to take her a few nights a month but it hardly scratches the surface in terms of the amount of rest I actually need. I need to do an assignment a month for OU and have accountancy exams on average every 6 weeks. Once one is done, another is around the corner.

Its come to a bit of head this week. I thought I might have to either take a break from my evening classes or quit. I emailed my tutor (who has been a massive bitch - she is consistently really rude to all the students, getting angry if people ask her questions in class ) explaining that I have not been able to come into class this week because I am really struggling and was there anything the college could do to help. I also asked if I could defer my course to next year. She came back with a reply basically telling me off for not keeping up with my homework and this is why I failed my last exam and that not only will I not be allowed to defer, if I quit half way through this course, I will be barred from ever taking the course at the college again, which I thought was a bit harsh.

I had a big argument with my ex tonight about this. He thinks I would be stupid to leave the accountancy course because it would mean that I will not be able to get a better job. He said that I have to just toughen up and work through it.

I feel like such a massive burden of responsibility and pressure. I'm losing the ability to think clearly.

Gosh, what a lot to bear. I'm not surprised at all you are feeling depressed and like its all a massive burden.

Try not to listen to your ex and what he thinks. He is not you, and it's always easy to judge from the outside. You have your own limits for coping with things and they do not have to be the same as his.

Are there any steps you can take to practically ease your load?

That tutor sounds like a right pain in the ass. Is there anyone abover her you could speak to? A course director? It sounds to me as though all you get is anger off her, can you see if there is anyone else who will give you more information. I work in an accountancy firm (although not an accountant) and i though the exams could be taken over a period of time?

Is there anyone else who could have your DD? does your ex have her at all? would anyone be able to take her during the day so you can study when you are not so tired?

you mentioned since you failed an exam you feel you have spiralled downwards. do you have any insight into these feelings? have you had them before? it sounds like your confidence has taken a big knock and is having a knock on affect on everything else.

you say you are up most nights with your DD. is there anything you can do to help her sleep through the night? i'm not a parent so cant offer any advice from a 'been there, done that' perspective. do you know why she wakes up?

look after yourself and make sure you keep eating/exercising/talking to people xx