new start but miserable

[melbournemum]

hi anyone out there

we've just moved from London to Melbourne and I am utterly miserable and really lonely for my old life and friends (despite now having a lovely big house, a garden, sunshine and living by the beach!). I've just scored 22 on the Edinburgh test and my dh told me today that he looked up several websites and I have every symptom of pnd. I have a gorgeous ds almost 3 and his equally beautiful brother who is 11 months old. My dh is the lovliest man on earth and I have no reason to feel unhappy yet I can barely drag myself out of bed each morning and sometimes just burst into tears at the thought of how I might get through the day. I shout at my older ds who doesn't deserve it and that breaks my heart and I feel like my younger ds is almost one and I've barely enjoyed a day of his life. I think that this has been there pretty much since he was born and just been getting progressively worse. I really don't want to go down the anti-despressant route, I don't even know why, but I don't know what else to do as it can't go on like this as I know I'm making this little family pretty miserable. I've got an appointment with a homeopath on Tuesday so I'm hopoing they can prescribe something. I don't have any friends here yet so I feel really lonely on top of everything.
so sorry to ramble, just needed to get this out and would be so grateful for any words of wisdom

i would go and see a doctor.

i didn't want to take anti-depressants, for a variety of reasons... bu in the end i gave in, and i wished i had done it sooner.
they give you the boost you need to get back on track and sort out what's going wrong... they're a means to an end.

see a doctor and get a referral to a counsellor so that you can talk through how you feel and work out some strategies for improving things.

i don't know how the system works in australia, but presumably they have health visitors or something equivalent... they may be able to point you in the direction of good toddler groups, or activities you can do with the kids and meet other people

Hi Melbourbemum, sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. I think you have to give yourself time to settle into your new life...it's a huge step moving away from eveything you know and it will take you a while to get used to it. Culture shock is very real, I moved to NSW a couple of years ago and I've lived abroad in other countries too. It sounds like you have an underlying problem with depression already so that will make it that bit harder.

If you have your Medicare card, you can go along to the GP and see what he/she says. Don't rule out AD's. As starlover says, they're a means to an end and will get you back on an even keel. It's definitely not a copout.

I wish you all the best and hope you can start enjoying your life again soon.

xxx

i dont really get the "i dont want drugs" thing. god - take the drugs get feeling better!

i moved 300 miles away from my friends and family, i missed the prestige i got with my job, the contacts i know the community - i missed not being able to get away from dh after a row and just go to my nans for a moan and a cup of coffee, i missed not being able to go out with friends and get shitfaced.

i missed it all. i felt isolated and lonely - despite.....living 5 mins from the sea, the kids getting a much much better education, schools better, the health service was better by far, my dd was finally diagnosed with being partially deaf and things were moving - it alls eemed so fking perfect - i felt so terrible one day i just collapsed in front of the washing machine, curled up into a ball and stayed there for ages. that was my lowest point. i went to doctors.

the isolation lasted for about a year. my first social pissfest came with a mumsnet meet up - and i know there are mumsnettters in australia - its a big place! but worth a try.
you need a mums and toddlers group or an excersize class or a wight watchers class or an evenign class - something to get you out of the house and meeting other people - if you dont put yourself out there - no ones going to come knocking on your door and say " your fab be my bestest friend" its not going to happen.

after the mnet meet ups - dh took me to pub once every two weeks - this still stands when we arn't skint.

i reckon for you , when your kds start going to school you will meet other mums maybe become nvolved int he school ins ome way.

the horrific horrible awful truth is - only you can save yourself.

Hi, I would like to echo a lot of the wise words that have already been said.
I was really isolated and not enjoying my baby or a while beore I sought help. which was only a month ago when dd was 10 months. I put off going to the doctors for months because I didnt 'want to go down the ad's route' I had a total misconception of them, I thought i'd end up either manic or a unfeeling zombie dependent on ad's well its been a month and they havent suddenly changed me, they have taken away my anxiety, made me feel less pissed off! and I feel like I'm seeing things in my dd that the pnd was blocking before.
also I had made the brave step of applying for a job and had an interview yesterday, this is something a few weeks ago I wouldn't even be able to think about. I still have bad days but it looks as though things are gradually improving.
please see your doctor, dont be scared of ad's, they could improve things a lot. At least go and discuss your options re counselling etc..
I was so scared of making friends before becausde i doubted mysel and felt so inside myself iyswim but know I feel more confident and willing to take steps to make friends as custardo has said, they wont just come to you, and when you're eeling down you dont have the will or belief in yourself to make effort.
wishing you all the bestx

thanks everyone, I really appreciate your responses. what you all said has made sense on a lot of different levels. I will make an appointment with a doctor for next week. I really got it when starlover said that the ad's are a means to an end. I know I need something to make me start feeling better in myself and about myself before I can address any of the other things like getting out there and making some friends. thanks for sharing your own experiences, it makes me feel less isolated to know other people understand where I'm coming from.