Does it sound like I'm depressed?

[SleepyDeer]

Sorry if this offends anyone.

I have had a bad year, lost 3 babies.

I constantly feel down, blue, randomly want to cry, can't sleep, always doubt myself, very little self-esteem, lack of concentration and i never want to leave my bed. I don't think life is stupid and worthless, but i think someone hates me and constantly on edge that something bad is going to happen.

That's near enough how i feel and this is most of the time. Please help and give me advice. I'm in my first year of college, I'm 18 and getting distinctions (highest grade) but i still get the feeling i'm going to be a failure and everything is going to go wrong.

What should i do?

Of course your post won't offend anyone. You say you "lost 3 babies" - do you mean miscarriages. You are only 18 - did you want a baby?

Depression is almost always caused by loss, not necessarily a death but it sounds like it in your case. Do you mean these losses where all in year. Anyway you sound like you are describing typical syptoms of depression and anxiety (that often go hand inhand) However I wonder why you think someone hates you - IS there someone? If not it's much more likely that you think this because of a mental illness. I thnk the anxiety (which is the medical name for fear) is making you think that something bad is going to happen. Are you at a college away from home? There should be a student counsellor you can see.

You must see your GP asap and tell him/her how you are feeling and also that you believe that someone hates you. He/she will probably prescribe medication but you have to wait a whle for it to take effect (can sometimes take 2/3 weeks) and you often feel the side effects before the benefit.

Please don't try to carry on with your course while you are feeling so crap - you will just make yourself worse. Most of us on the MH threads will instantly recognise your symptons and we all want to hide under the duvet when we are feeling really bad. It's what animals do when they are ill - they want to hide and withdraw and I reckon it's the same for us. BUT we do need to get up to wash, and brush teeth etc.

Do you have a supportive family or good friends.

My son (now in his 40s) conked out with depression and anxiety in his first term at uni, and came home, and it took about 4/5 months before he was ok again.

Take care and please see GP. You won't be telling them anything that they haven't heard before hundreds of time. You may need therapy to deal with the underlying problem (the loss of 3 babies) as the ADs only cope with the symptoms.

This isn't just going to go away - you must get help and support.
Many people find it useful to make a list of their symptoms to give the GP as they think they will just clam up. I just burst into tears and she was nice GP and handed me a tissue and was very kind.

I am a grandmother and had a severe episode of depression 2 years ago and I haven't made a complete recovery - have good days and bad days so know the torment of depression and anxiety.

I had a brief episode of moderate depression a few years ago and felt very much like you. The GP asked me questions about how I felt and diagnosed 'moderate' depression. I remember thinking 'bloody hell! How awful must it be with severe depression!'

Mine came on over the space of a year. I'd always been a very happy person. All I could see ahead was bleakness and nothing to be happy about, not even in my young children. Anti D's worked for me. I came off them after 6 months (without telling the GO ) and even though I've had a few days here and there of feeling 'down' its nothing like I felt before.

I work for myself in a highly creative industry. Weirdly for me, I had no problem working. In fact I was excelling at it. It's strange but it was almost like going the extra mile to put the 'mask' on. So I don't find it unusual that you are doing well at college.

I think you definitely sound like you have anxiety and depression. Go and see your GP and look into counselling services.

Hope the sun comes out for you soon x

Yes, my baby boy at 23 weeks.2 early at 7weeks.2 were not planned, 1 was. but washappy when I found out.

I have a few supportive family members. I live with my boyfriend half the weel whilst at college then at my mums half the week.

I'm just scared I'll be judged, I'm studying health and social care so depression wouldn't be good as I've got placement in a month. i have to carry on or I will get kicked off.

Harry thank you, glad everything is looking up for you. I've been through a lot on my life but always been a very happy person until this past year I've just crashed.

sleepydear - so so sorry for your losses. As I said before it is small wonder that you are feeling as you do. You must be realistic about this. You say "I have to carry on or I'll get kicked off" - if you just carry on you will just get worse and the depression will be harder to treat. Do you know that 1 in 4 people will suffer from depression at some time in their lives, and that one-third of GP consultations are for mental health problems.

Depression can hit anyone at anytime and the tutors on your course will understand. They couldn't be tutors on such a course and not understand depression and anxiety. SO please see your GP to get some help with the depression, and talk to your tutor and I'm sure they will understand. You may be able to repeat the part of the course that you might have to miss.

You mention that you have been through a lot in your life until this year when you have crashed - that is no surprise - things pile up and in the end you tip over - it's called being human.