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Mental health

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How do you know when you are having a breakdown?

10 replies

Nickname27 · 10/02/2013 16:26

I've been on the edge for the past few days. History of postnatal anxiety and a little bit of paranoia but I've never had treatment and both times it just kind of went away on its own.

I have two dc under five and they are relentless. I love them with all my heart but it never ends. The oldest nags and whines anddemands things non stop, all part of his age but it is breaking me. The youngest still sleeps in our bed and wakes several times a night and the eldest ends up in with us too most nights just so we am get some sleep. The mess they make us unbelievable. I spend my life washing and wiping things and the house is constantly a mess. I've just changed the beds and the youngest has wiped milk over it amd food over the curtains so now i have to take them off again amd wash. I did my hair and put sonething nice on this morning and have got stuff wiped down me so neednt have bothered. Eveeytging feels futile. I feel like they never eat well enough and they watch too much tv. I'm rubbish at this. i work part time in a demanding job I don't particularly like and they go to nursery/school/clubs and lessons. I manage to fet everyone where they need to be, clean, dressed and one time but im barely holdibg it togetger. my husband works seven days per week and we are doing work to our house which seems never ending. We never get to spend quality time together and when we do we are too tired to enjoy it properly and I am so lonely. We have family close by who are very supportive and babysit etc. I had my job, I don't know why I'm being like this all of a sudden.

All of this is pretty typical. I don't know why I can't cope. I never get enough sleep, I never get five minutes to myself, I no longer have much of a social life or time to make myself look nice amd our sex life has dwindled due to te children constantly being in bed woth us and the tiredness. I'm bored out of my mind, overwhelmed by the drudgery and the fact that the work and responsibility never ends. I feel numb, I don't feel like me and I'm not coping. I'm terrified the oldest can see it, he has just (out of character) thrown something quite nastily at his sistee and I'm worried he can see that I'm not right and it's affecting him.

I slap myself sometimes hard in the head and I pull my hair. The last few days I have snapped and shouted really loudly at the children. I'm worried the neighbours might hear me and think badly. I'm crying now, have just rung my husband who is at work and can't leave for a little while. I just need someone to talk to, the children are following me roud the house now and I don't want them to see me cry. I feel like getting into bed and staying there or running away. I have uniforms to wash and letters/childcare to organise for tomorrow and I just don't think I can do it. I can't stop crying.

OP posts:
Nickname27 · 10/02/2013 16:37

Ok feel marginally better for having a cry am have started on the uniforms. Definitely helped to rant a little. I'm due on my period and prone to getting a bit emotional / angry around this time so perhaps this is some of it. I just don't know how long I can keep picking myself up.

OP posts:
RumpledTitSkin · 10/02/2013 17:57

I'm just bumping this for you in the hope that someone more knowledgeable than me can help you. Smile

I could have written this post three years ago. I've been so much better since, possibly thanks to fluoxetine, but as I have gradually come off it I am suddenly wobbling and a bit scared. Sad

SmilingMakesMyFaceAche · 10/02/2013 17:59

Please go to the gp. I was getting like this months ago and I'm sooooo much better now after being prescribed citralopram . Deep down, you have to remember that 'this too shall pass' - you won't feel like this forever. Get some help. Have a very big un-mums net like hug from me xx Thanks

ScillyCow · 10/02/2013 18:02

Same as smiling. I felt like this and had had enough - was seriously considering doing myself in just to stop it all. Was prescribed citalopram 6 months ago and have just come off it. It was like a complete fresh start - helped me get my ducks in a row and we are now using 123 - Magic with the kids which seems to have reduced the stress in the house a lot.

Hope you get the help you need and feel better very soon.

Khalessi · 10/02/2013 18:16

I haven't got anything useful to add but just want you to know that it sounds like you work so hard & need a rest. Please reach out to your partner/ family for support.

SmilingMakesMyFaceAche · 10/02/2013 22:36

Bumping for more support for you x

Shakey1500 · 10/02/2013 22:41

When I read the title if the thread my first thought was "I felt numb and knew I wasn't being me". I notice you mention these also. Not saying you ARE having a breakdown but you do sound understandably overwhelmed. It would do no harm to chat to GP.

Chippychop · 10/02/2013 22:51

Do have a chat to a friendly go. Last year I was really down, black moods, feeling guilty working pt in a demanding job, building a house,
Dh out he house all the time. Shouting...nay screaming at the dc.
I had a coil fitted ( as you do) the hormone one it has evened out my moods, I've been made redundant Grin and now we have less money more time and I honestly feel like I've uncoiled , chilled out and so much happier. People have commented. The gp recommended some good websites but I can't remember what they are called,sorry. Sounds like something has to give. It can't and shouldnt be you. Take care

Dromedary · 10/02/2013 23:01

If your family are supportive, is there any way they could take the children for a weekend and you could get away for a couple of days? Or just have a couple of days to do a big clean of the house?
When the children get a bit older they will be at the same school, and will generally be easier in lots of ways, and that will make a big difference.
Maybe you could be tougher on sleeping arrangments - there will be tantrums at first, but it may be worth it.

flippingflup · 11/02/2013 10:45

Can you have a serious talk with your dh? Why is he working 7 days a week? That is not sustainable with a young family and puts too much pressure on you. Is there a way he can at least have one day off every weekend? Is he self-employed?

A few years ago I felt similarly - too much to do, no support, husband constantly working, house being done up (badly, by us), and it felt like too much because it WAS too much. Sounds like you are used to coping, getting on with it. You need to really tell it like it is to someone, probably dh. Make him understand, tell him about hurting yourself if you can.

For me, what helped was selling the unfinished house, dh cutting his hours, and the kids growing a bit and sleeping in their own beds. I've got more time to be myself now, not just a house slave. When things were bad, it helped to go to bed at the same time as kids with a book and a hot drink and just get some sleep, even with the house left a mess.

You've put 'I don't know why I can't cope', read back everything you have to cope with, you deserve a break xx

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