Are anti depressants the answer or should I just plod along feeling like this.

[FoxSake]

So in general terms I have been coping well, people who knew me would never guess. Since the birth of my 3rd baby a year ago I have been having panic attacks and terrible anxiety but I think I manage with it ok and nobody knows, it doesn't stop me doing anything.

At first my depression presented as severe pmt so for 3 days a month I cried non stop hated my life etc and then on the next day my mood would just lift and I'd be fine. My gp put me on the ocp but since then or perhaps just before I am depressed all of the time. I have had a few difficult events to deal with, my mum and I stopped talking and I had epiphany about my parents, my hair fell out, badly, and has destroyed my self image and lately I have started thinking constantly about abuse I suffered as a child although I have always known about this and it never really effected me too much before I seem to dwell on it now. I'm so concerned that my mood is going to ruin my relationship and I'll make things worse for myself that I have made an appointment with the Gp tomorrow to get some help. I know they will offer me ADs I'm so reluctant to take them because of everything I've read but am I being silly? I had post natal depression after my first baby but only realised in hindsight and recovered on my own. Perhaps I should just persevere. I know my mood is worse when I'm tired and with anon sleeping 1 year old that is definitely making things worse.

I feel like Ads won't make my problems go away so perhaps they aren't worth it, I also can't bare the thought of them not working and not having options really worries me.

I was really worried about taking medication but its honestly the best thing I ever did. The hardest part is starting taking them.

It sounds to me like you have a lot of depression symptoms and would benefit from anti ds. It also sounds like you have alot of trauma in your past and maybe some counselling would help?

I have just started taking anti-D's. it was very hard to admit I needed them but I have been taking them on and off for the past 14 years. Admitting you might need a bit of help is nothing to be ashamed off. I feel better already since setting in motion the processes to start feeling better. I hope you soon feel better too xx

Thank you so much for your replies. It is so hard to accept that I need help. I've always sort of battled through in the past and was hoping I'd get better on my own but now that it's been a year and DH is being effected. I think it's time I try something.