I don't like being dramatic but I hate my life ATM

[5dcsinneedofacleaner]

I don't know if I'm depressed, well no I KNOW I'm depressed but i don't know if its something that is a problem or if its just being miserable because things are shit - if that makes sense.

Ill try to explain but it is hard for me to be dramatic in posts I am lying in bed crying yet I sound as though I am chatting happily away . I don't know what that is about.

We moved 3 years ago across the country, dh wanted to move near his family and had been unwell so even though I was really happy where I was I went along with it. As part of the illness he had lost his job ( nice job I had been a sahm - before this life was good for me).

I hate where we now l

Oh FFs sake my 11 month old just pressed create post in her sleep (talented early blooming mumsneter ) Ill continue!

I hate where we now live, his family are near we get on but he's always going out places which are to do with their interests bike rides up mountains etc. I am alone all the time. After he lost his job he set up a business he needed so much help we run it together , I hate the business I would rather do virtually any other job but I have to do this one the company would collapse without me. I work stupid hours , we Have over £10,000 less a year than before even though we now both work as opposed to him. There is no joy anymore I can't go places with the children in the week as I am working I can't go on the weekends as we are still fucking working. I have to work at home dh has an office - it is incredibly stressful working while simutaneously looking after 5 kids.

We had our fifth here not planned dh moaned about it but tbh that was the only thing that kept me going a blessing for me.

I no longer enjoy anything at all. I can't decide if that's because I'm depressed or if its because there literally is nothing to enjoy. I dare not talk to dh about any of this it descends into an argument /"- we never used to argue like that. He just sees how great the move was for him and the kids and doesn't understand why I don't feel the same.

It's at the point where I just don't want to do it anymore but realistically there is no way out .

I should point out he lost his job due to work related depression he loves working for himself he would not give it up now.

Now he's happy, it's time for him to help you be happy. Good idea to see a doctor though.

When you are depressed in a shit situation, then it is hard to think how to improve things, because of the depression. So I would suggest seeing your GP about the depression, and don't be afraid of taking ADs. They take a few weeks to kick in, but when they do you will be able to see things more clearly.