Hi, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment and not sure how to make things better. After taking redundancy a few months ago I've started a new job, full time. Having real doubts about whether I've done the right thing both in terms of being away from DD and whether I accepted the right job as I had other offers on the table. Feel really torn about both wanting to advance my career but also hate being away from my daughter and feel very conscious that she won't be so young for very long.
I don't think I want to be a SAHM but worry that if I compromise on my job in order to get reduced hours I'll get 'left behind'. Also will feel like a total failure if I don't make this job work, both in terms of my reputation but also as DP and I were hoping for a decent 2nd salary so that we can move house and also maternity pay as we're planning DD2.
Sometimes I get so irrationally upset by the idea that I'm doing the wrong thing or making the wrong decision that I do wonder if its actually about what's happening now or more to do with regretting decisions I've made in the past, namely an abortion.
I don't really know what to do or who to talk to. I don't feel like my friends understand and DP just doesn't know what to say anymore.
Sorry for rambling post and also for self-indulgence. I feel like I should be celebrating how good my life is but just feel crap. 