Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Original poster

if you are contemplating having an abortion....

18 replies

bubblepop · 24/04/2006 20:39

i just need to tell you this.....
i had an unwanted pregnancy.i was devasted. my family was complete. i went to the doctors and cried my eyes out.i told her to refer me to the hospital for a termination. as i sat there crying i had my nine month old daughter in my arms, and had barely got over her difficult birth.

the letter came for my appointment but i cancelled.could'nt bring myself to do it. i went through the whole pregnancy feeling ill and depressed. i was constantly drained, not a good pregnancy.i had nightmares about the impending birth. then the day came...i finally went into labour.
it was a lovely experience in water,a very healing experience for me. i bonded with my new baby instantly, she's such a joy to me. she's gorgeous,a lovely chubby,happy little thing.she's so contented and easy to look after.she's got really big eyes and a cheeky smile. we are all besotted with her,its a love affair with the little mite!

i do hope my story has'nt upset or offended anyone,that was'nt my intention. i just wish someone could have given me a crystal ball at the time when i was upset, to show me what a wonderful thing this baby would be to me. there ive said it now.Blush. i do hope my story will help someone out there.

OP posts:
nappybaglady · 24/04/2006 20:42

That's a lovely story. Made me smile to read it.

Socci · 24/04/2006 20:49

That's a lovely post bubblepop - I actually feel quite moved.

tangerinecath · 24/04/2006 21:32

How lovely bubblepop. My aunt had a similar experience and now has a 12 year old who we wouldn't be without. Your dd sounds adorable :)

welshboris · 24/04/2006 21:36

im sure your post will upset the many women on here who have had abortions

Rhubarb · 24/04/2006 21:39

This is the kind of story that would feature on my site \link{http://www.unplannedpregnancies.co.uk\here}, would you mind if I added it?

I don't see why it should offend others? It's just like someone saying how they thought their abortion was simply the right thing to do. It's another experience, another opinion.

PinkTulips · 24/04/2006 21:39

what a beautiful story bubblepop, your strength really paid out in the end. enjoy your beautiful dd Smile

PinkTulips · 24/04/2006 21:42

brilliant site rhubarb, nice to see someone giving every side of the story, not just their own opinions

bubble99 · 24/04/2006 21:45

That's a lovely story for your situation bubblepop. Smile

pebblemum · 24/04/2006 21:47

What a lovely story. I am so glad it all worked out for you.

I had an unwanted pregnancy when ds1 was 1.4yrs i had just split up with his dad, had nowhere to live and couldnt face the prospect of struggling to bring up two children on my own so i chose to have an abortion. It was the hardest decision i have ever had to make and to this day only ds1's dad and a close friend know about it. I know i did the right thing but part of me is still ashamed. I am now married to a lovely man and have ds2, but now and again i wonder what that baby would have been like. At the end of the day it is not something i am proud of and if i could do it all again i would probably do it differently but at the same time it all worked out for me and ds1 in the end and we are happy.

I admire your courage to stick with the pregnancy. Enjoy your little one, im glad she has bought you all so much love and happiness. Smile

bubble99 · 24/04/2006 21:50

And that's the right story for your situation, pebblemum.

gothicmama · 24/04/2006 21:52

pebblemum look at the spirit children thread in philosophy an drelion section

Original poster
bubblepop · 24/04/2006 22:20

rhubarb.thankyou for reading, yes add my story to your site if you like, i would prefer to remain anonymous.
welshboris. i don't wish to upset anyone, and im sorry if i do. just wanted to share my experience.

OP posts:
Original poster
bubblepop · 24/04/2006 22:23

pebblemum. you did what you had to do. don't look back anymore on what might have been.xx

OP posts:
pebblemum · 24/04/2006 23:01

I looked at that site gothicmama. Im not usually into that sort of thing but it was strangely comforting. thanx

Bubblepop, i dont agree with welshbishop. I dont think this thread will upset people as it isnt critiscising (sp?) or bragging. It is just you teling people how happy you are and showing them that no matter how depserate things sometimes seem there can be a light at the end of it. I made a different decision to you but the fact things have worked out so wonderfully for you does not upset me, if anything if makes me happy. Whenever we have a child it is a happy occassion and you are just expressing that happiness and letting us all know what you went through. As for me not looking back on what might have been, i dont do it often as i have two wonderful sons and my dh, i couldnt ask for more. If i had made a different choice i may not have had that. There will always be a bit of regret there but life goes on. Its no use living in the past, we cant change it but we can make the most of what we do have which is exactly what your story shows. You wasnt sure about having the baby but you stuck with it and it worked out perfectly in the end for you. If anyone is upset by that then it is up to them, personally i enjoyed reading it

Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads · 24/04/2006 23:07

I agree- its a lovely post, and if people have made the right decision for their family there is no reason to be upset by your post. I briefly panicked when I found out I was pregnant with ds3, for the same sorts of reasons as you I guess felt like I couldn't handle another pregnancy or birth- wasn't thinking as far as the child, I didn't think of termination for very long but I did think about it) and like you the thought of the birth gave me nightmares throughout the pregnancy. I felt really panicky about it. Anyway the birth was fine and of course ds3 is lovely and wonderful and all the things babies are.

BadHair · 24/04/2006 23:14

I really wish I'd read this post 7 years ago. I had an unplanned pregnancy and was pressurised into a termination by my terrified boyfriend. My GP never questioned my intention, even though I sobbed in the surgery when I asked for a termination. The hospital doctor did point out that I didn't have to go through with it, as it was clear that I was upset and probably not in the right frame of mind to have made such a big decision, but in the end I got an abortion on demand. I guess they thought that at 28 I was big enough to know my own mind. I still regret what I did, in fact I was only thinking of it today, which is why I've posted.
I'm still very much pro-choice, but I just wish that someone had sat me down and really made me think about the choice I was making, rather than just going along with what my mouth was asking for but the rest of me was not.
So I'm really pleased that you had the courage to make the decision that you did. I only wish I had.

studentmum1 · 25/04/2006 15:26

I had a similar experience, i had split up with my babys dad and am only 19 but when i found out i was pregnant i went to the doctors and said i couldn't go through with it. i went through the whole process of the check-ups you have to have and even got to the clinic on the day to have the abortion. 2 hours before the operation, i backed out. nerves i think!

i had a tough pregnancy, but a great birth and i now have 15 month old daughter. who i love dearly and i'm settled with my own house and great fiance. couldn't be happier.

Oblomov · 27/04/2006 17:09

I'm afraid I have to disagree with welshboris - I think your post was sympathetically put and non judgemental.

Dh and I made a decision.
It was right for us and we still both agree that it was right.
Some people terminate and are filled with regret.
Some people have very strong views on this subject, but it was right for us.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page