Can't snap out of it

[nutcracker]

I am feeling more and more down every day lately.

Even when i try to lift myself out of it within minutes I am back in there feeling like i'd rather be anywhere than here.

Am snapping at the kids left right and centre if they don't already hate me they soon will.

I want to be able to enjoy myself but have got no motivation, don't care about anything and can't enjoy anything.

se your gp luv. sorry for short answer, baby attached.

Life is hard for you

I dont knwo about depressed but you have a lot on your plate

your kids WONT hate you

it is really hard
I dont feel motivated but am able 6 mths on to put up a front so that evceryone thinks Im oK

the only people who know Im struggling sometimes is MN so not really real

you ahve so mucxh to deal with regarding kids and on top of that, you have your own emotions

go to gp for a chat if nothing else

CAT me if you want to sound off - I do understand
xx

I know exactly how you are feeling hun i really do, most days i am so low i struggle to get out of bed also am snapping at everyone including my ds's please feel free to cat me or if you want have my email, and vent as much as you like

Thanks for the offers to contact you both but honestly you both have enough on your plates as it is without me moaning on.

I keep racking my brains for something that will pull me out of this horrible hole but can't think of anything that will.

Can't believe it was my desicion to split up and yet I feel so dammned awful.

Woke up feeling more positive today and to start with everything was fine.

Then the minute the kids woke they started arguing and ds kicked me and called me an idiot so i smacked him and put him in his room.

I think perhaps xp should have them, they couldn't be any worse off than they are now.

Mind you what am i on about, he doesn't want them.

you're their mum. i think they're best off with you. from what i can tell, apart from feeling really crap in general and about yourself there is nothing about you that would make anyone think they were best of anywhere else.

and i think we all snap at our kids esp when were feeling crap.

(((nutty)))

Hi, I just wanted to let you know that someone out there is feeling the same way you do. I made my ex leave when woo was 6months old, and just over eight months on I feel worse than ever.

I have had days which seem to go on for weeks where all I want to do is stay on bed or disapear - sometimes with or without my baby.

I've found that I need to make such a hugh effort to enjoy myself, be motivated to do even the most basic of things. And thats having it easy living back with my parents and grandparents, who constanly want to help.

I just wanted to let you know that its not just you - I don't know when I will stop feeling so crap, but I know that every so often something good happens, or Woo does something funny, or unbelievably naughty and I just cant help but smile and feel proud of him and me for having the strenght to loose my ex and start trying to have a new life.

Thankyou both, it is nice to know I am not alone in feeling like this iykwim.

Am trying to think of something i can do with them all today but minds gone blank. Can't let them outside due to it resembling a bog, haven't got any paints or anything for them to make anything and nothing in for cooking with.

Shame they can't iron, i have plenty of that to do

washing up? Lots of plastic pots etc? Run a bath and let them play in it?

Discovered they both had homework so they did that whilst Ds dressed up as Spiderman.

I am feeling a bit better now, have tidied up the kitchen and sorted a load of washing out and my mum brought me chocolate

I seem to feel alot worse in the mornings for some reason.

your kids are better off with you - if they play up, Im afrqaid its cos they feel closest to you so they are able to show their emotions -text book - crap for you but thats being a mum isnt it

to be honest Nutty it is hard and thats the bottom line

I am OK during the day and am cheerful & enthusiastic with kids, friends, family & work etc but as soon as kids are in bed I feel deflated and down.

its as though after 6 mths I feel people expect me to be OK, and if Im not, they dont know what to do, so it adds more pressure - just easier to pretend all ok

except Friday I ended up crying in Woolworths at the manager about something trivial and realised I was crying cos received documents from solicitor - ex has finally signed confession to "adultery and on going"
thats what I wante dso I can get quick divorce but just seems so cold....

my family just keep talking about WHEN I sell my house, but I dont want to leave, BUT not sure I can afforD it by myself

DS birthday on Tues - had paryty yesterday and ex didnt come 0- I asked him 3 time sbut he just ignored me
thankgully DS didnt ask where he was so I guess hes accepting of situation
wish I could be

hope you've had better day today

Hi nutcracker, I don't "know" you, but I have seen some of your posts and I know you have been to hell and back recently. I think you have coped with things with real bravery and your kids are lucky to have you. I haven't been though what you have, but I have suffered with depression/feelings of hopelessness, and I know how lonely and frightening it can be.

Don't worry too much about snapping at your kids - I know it's not nice but they are resilient little people, they know you love them and they know you have been under pressure. They won't hate you.

I definitely would go to your GP if you haven't already. Even if you're not keen on the idea of being on ADs, they can be helpful just to give you a leg-up until things improve.

I haven't got anything else very helpful to say - just that you WILL feel happy again, you WILL enjoy yourself again, even though it doesn't feel like it - sometimes all you can do is keep grimly putting one foot in front of the other and tell yourself that it will get better. It will.

I hope you don't mind me poking my big nose in.

GS xxx

Hi nutcracker I totally agree with Greensleaves. You really should go and see your gp, and going onto ad isn't the end of the world - in fact thet made so much of a difference to me.

I felt very much like you do now after the birth of ds, I went to gp and was put on ad, I felt so much worse for the first few weeks, but gradually began to feel better, by Christmas I was feeling back to normal. So normal that I came off them (too soon, and too quickly) within a month I was back to feeling rubbish again, and strangely enough I always felt so much worse in the mornings.
I would wake up and feel this dread in the pit of my stomach, and feeling as if I was homesick almost.

After a couple of months of this I eventually went back to gp and back onto the ad. Now I'm feeling much better. Not completely right but 1000times better than I did without the ad.

It's really worth going, they've seen it and heard it all before, they won't judge you or condem you, just help you.

Hope you're feeling better soon.

Iused to be jmum6 btw!