not sure what to do....

[sewandsew]

I have a history of anxiety...I'm 42 and married with 2 kids who are 4 and 6. My mother has always suffered with anxiety and when we were kids was on some fairly harsh anti -d's.

I had my first attack at 20something when I was at lawschool and finding the process quite overwhelming. I took antid's and saw a counsellor for a while and my parents were v.supportive.

My second bout happened when I was 30 and then started anti-d's again...and saw a therapist religiously for 2 yrs. I then felt a lot better and came of anti-d's. Since then I've had a professional career, married and 2 kids. I have a good network of friends and close family.

In autumn I was made redundant from my part time job and I thought I was fine since it was getting me down and had a bit of a honeymoon period. I went on a business trip wih DS and felt pretty bad most of the time I was away (a week, far east no kids). I got back and settled down again but definitely went through a blue period in late Nov.

I felt alot better at xmas and thought I'd come out the other side but am feeling quite anxious again - I went to London today and felt really out of sorts...wanting just to come home really.

We are also potentially relocating with DH's job abrowd (he has a fairly senior position and isn't around much). We know the move is for the best (no other jobs here for him and in this market hard to move). I'm nervous about the move and wonder if this is adding to th anxiety.

It seems to come and go....I see friends, try to eat well, don't drink much and get out in the fresh air - this all helps but I get fed upnwith myself sometimes.

I wonder if I might benefit from some more therapy leading up to our move and maybe some anti -d's again ?

Bump !

I think you sound like you are waiting for a stranger on the internet to give you permission to support yourself through a hard time. You don't need permission. Your usual coping mechanisms are not quite cutting it, so it is fine to seek out more robust support of whatever kind might help.

It may be best to have a chat with your GP and see what he thinks.

building you're right....the problem I have is thAt whilst supportive, my family usually see me as the one who can cope and as my mother is generally anxious I tend not to talk to her about it - she makes me feel worse and then hounds me all the time because she's worried. DH is also pretty supportive and empathetic but is another who looks a bit terrified if I admit I'm not coping well....again, I'm the one who sorts everyone out.....i suspect that's why I'm here...

I have this evening emailed a therapist from the BACP who seems to be local. I could probably do with someone professional to talk to rather than friends - they're lovely but sometimes a third party can be helpful ...

amillion....Our GP is a parent at school and Although I know they can't discuss things, I feel a bit awkward. Might see if I can find someone else to talk to there.

Good idea to call a therapist. I actually called then Samaritans a few weeks ago, dumped on them for fifteen minutes, and felt much better. Sometimes a good friend can tolerate a moany phone call once in a while too.

And, yes, I can imagine that bit is tricky having your GP at the gates every morning! Perhaps seen if you can be seen by someone else...?