Where should I go from here?

[Ambrosiacreamedrice]

Just wondering if anyone had any advice about what I should do next.

I've been diagnosed with depression and PTSD and I don't seem to be getting better. I've had counselling, EMDR, guided-self help and CBT alongside 5 different ADs and it has made no difference. I've seen a psychologist through Occupational Health who did the EMDR and my GP prescribes medication.

The counselling/CBT were through the CMHT but because they didn't work they discharged me back to my GP. I've been existing and functioning for the last 6 months or so but not living, and can feel myself slipping lower and lower and I don't know what to do. I asked my GP about seeing a psychiatrist, but he said that CMHT 'gatekeep' for them and he is not allowed to refer. CMHT think that I'm not compliant with treatment so won't see me again.

I'm not sleeping at the moment so pretty muddled anyway, but I can't see how I can get better stuck in this cycle of meds that don't work and therapies that make me feel even worse. Can anyone offer any insights?

In what way do the CMHT think you are not complying with treatment?

Just keep going back to GP, and ask what you should do next.

you sound like you have been going through the hoops, if they haven't worked for you, then they need to look again,

please be kind to yourself, you won't always feel like this, it's hard, you are doing really well, because you are being pro active about addressing the problem, so please be kind to yourself.

Not compliant because I won't keep taking med that don't work - after 6 months on maximum dosage you know if they aren't working. CBT didn't work because you have to acknowledge that thoughts are negative and wrong, but mine are actually true and I took along a list of evidence to prove it, so this is being non-compliant.

It is very kind of you to say that I won't always feel like this, but 4 years after first seeing my GP I can't quite believe that there is anything else to try.

How utterly frustrating for you,

What result did they expect, and if your experience of the treatment has not had the predicted outcome why are they not comprehending that,

Do you have anyone that can go to your appointments with you? So that you have someone there to advocate your case. Do you have support?

Could you ask your GP for a referral to a different CMHT?

It's totally ridiculous that you are having so much difficulty accessing the right treatment , given that it is for depression and PTSD, something that really doesn't make it easy.

I can't quite believe that there is anything else to try

There will be, I'm so sorry that it hard, it really shouldn't be, please remind yourself you are doing really well, because you are dealing with something that is so tough, so try to be kind to yourself.

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Community Mental Health team is for the entire trust area, so I don't think you can refer elsewhere. I don't have anyone to go with me, but I have asked to be referred to a psychiatrist but my GP says he can't, just to CMHT, who say it is my own fault I'm not responding.

I'm so tired, I don't really sleep and it is very difficult trying to keep working full-time without just crying.

Can you get signed off work?

What do they expect you to do, that you are not doing?

Have you rung Mind for advice?

www.mind.org.uk/help/advice_lines

www.mind.org.uk/help/advice_lines

They expect me to make a timetable of things to do each day to keep busy, but I'm busy working 7:30-5:00 at work and then for at least 3 hours each evening, so I don't have time for other stuff. Sometimes I can't talk because I feel very tired and down and I can't even make facial expressions, but this is seen as not engaging with the counselling.

I can't get signed off work, crippling guilt will then follow which is even worse. Thanks for the link, I'll have a look.

Write out a timetable of what you do, do. then ask what they would like you to change on it, it sounds like you are willing to try anything, so are doing your best.

It really sounds like you need an advocate to speak on your behalf.

Are you getting any proper rest, you must be very fatigued.

and don't ever feel guilty for doing what is best for you, if needs to be done it needs to be done, if you need time out you need time out, the sooner the better.

I did fill the timetable in, but because I wasn't putting down lots of hobbies etc it wasn't seen as 'helping myself'. Honestly, other than a bit of posting on here I work 3 hours a night on top of a full day and then have a bath and go to bed, where I lie awake half of the night.

I do think I've gone beyond 'self-help' but I seem to be stuck in some sort of catch-22 loop. I can't help myself because I'm so depressed, but because I can't help myself I can't access any further services to help me.

Just to say thanks for your help, I've seen the GP today and got nowhere again so I think I'm just going to give up.

dear ambrosiacreamedrice, how are you since last month, feeling better?
did you get to see a psychiatrist?