Need advice.. Are my feelings normal?

[Georgebooboo]

This is the first time I have posted on here so I apologise if I get this wrong. 2012 was a hectic year, I got married, had my first baby and moved house. The pregnancy wasn't the best and I counted down the last three months as I felt miserable and jealous and insecure in my relationship. I have never been jealous before but the pregnancy changed me completely . I assumed when I had baby that my hormones would return to normal and I would no longer feel jealous and insecure. This isn't the case and now four months after I had my baby I feel just as insecure and miserable as I did whilst pregnant. This isn't a normal feeling for me. My relationship has always been good and I've never worried about my husband cheating as I always said if he does it then I would leave and that would be it. I feel like a totally different person and All I really want is to feel the way I did before I was pregnant. As its my first pregnant I was wondering if this is normal? Has anyone felt the same or can anyone offer me any advice please..

Can I ask do you have any issues with your post birth body? the only reason I ask is because you seem insecure I think to some extent its commonto have a flag in confidence once you've had a baby. Also having a baby makes you feel more dependant on your dp as him leaving would have a much bigger impact now. While I think these feelings can be normal if they are causing considerable distress (which it must be for you to post here)its worth chatting to your gp about

Didn't want to leave your post unanswered - I think the change from non-mother to mother is just the most unbelievable upheaval. I'm certainly far from the person I was pre-children. My youngest is just over 3 now, oldest almost 7, one in between is 5, and I've just recently started to feel like I'm getting back to my old self a bit.

Your body is still adjusting, as is your mind! And u can expect that adjustment to continue for many months/years to come, don't rush it. Enjoy your new role, and allow yourself time to keep adjusting. I think that first baby has an impact u just can't prepare for.

As for your feelings of jealousy re your husband- your body has changed, your role has changed, of course things feel different.but different can be better not just worse!! Just give yourself time! U might think 4 months is plenty of time, but I promise in 5 years you'll look back at the haze of new-motherhood and realise how short 4 months is.

Good luck and enjoy your new baby x

Crawling.. Thanks for the response, I do have issues with my body now which I know does in part impact on my confidence.. I've booked to see my gp next week. I'm a bit scared and embarrassed as when I went to speak to them about how I felt during pregnancy they were rubbish!

Fares please.. Thanks for the response. I'm hoping motherhood brings a lot more positives than negatives. Im not really sure how I expected to feel but your definitely right when you say you can't prepare for it. it's all been a bit of a daze..

It sounds such a simple suggestion, and I know there may be much more going on behind the scenes, but if you've never felt this insecure before, could you have just got into the routine of thinking like this?

It makes it much more difficult to break the thought pattern when it's become the norm, you start thinking you maybe should feel like this because it's what you've done before IYSWIM?

Having a baby can make you feel more vulnerable, maybe you being suspicious of your DH is just this vulnerability taking shape?

Does your DH know you feel like this? If he does, what does he make of it? Has you ever given you reason to not trust him?

Do you think that you could have depression. It is possible to have ante natal depression and post natal depression. Can you say in a bit more detail how you are feeling. The symptoms of depression are feeling flat/sad, lack of motivation or concentration, bouts of crying, feeling worthless, having suicidal thoughts. There are others but those are just some of them. Depression and anxiety usually go together and anxiety if the medical name for fear. Do you feel afraid.......glad you are seeing GP.

It's a good idea to write down the emotions you are having like a shopping list. This is helpful if you get so anxious you can't recall your symptoms, and it's helpful to the GP. Hope you are seeing a different GP from the one who was no help when you talked of your emotions in the ante natal period. You could book a double appt, and don't forget GPs are paid very well and they have chosen to do their job and our taxes pay their salary.

As others have said being a new mother is a life changing experience. There will be brighter times ahead I'm sure. Keep talking as there is a lot of support on here.

Sending you warm wishes

Agent zigzag thanks for the response. Maybe it could be a routine thing but I just can't seem to shake it and it's making me feel really unhappy . My husband hasn't done anything that would make me jealous it's just my insecurities. I have told him how I feel and I think he tries to be understanding but he's never been the most emotionally person..

Nananina thanks for your response . I think
It may be depression. I feel down for no reason a lot of the time and I cry at the slightest thing. I felt like this when I was pregnant and it hasn't gone away. A list is a good idea thank you, I will start it tomorrow..

Come back and let us know how you get on with the GP Gbooboo