Bipolar means twice as interesting, if you ask me.

[KeemaNaanAndCurryOn]

Well it would seem that there are a lot of folk with bipolar lurking around on Mumsnet. Some old hands at it and some new folk who maybe need a helping hand.

Me, well I was diagnosed this year, but had always known there was something amiss and to be honest the diagnosis was a relief rather than a millstone around my neck as I finally had a reason for my rollercoaster life. I do remember being fragile as hell though. Nothing prepares you for having a nice little lable to stick on your metaphorical backside as you tramp through life.

Come and talk to me about it.

I was diagnosed 3 years ago, and my dad has also been diagnosed with bipolar years back. I only found out that 5 years ago, but that's another story.

In many ways it was a relief, because then you can start treating it and finding ways of managing it. I like to think of it as just being "differently thinking". Who's to say our mental state is any less valid than that of a "normal" person and what is "normal" anyway?

Bloody hell, I'm trying to get work done and post at the same time and I'm writing bollocks. Sorry, will come back when I can compose a coherent post!

I remember saying to an ex of mine - "I don't know whats going on. I feel like shit for ages and then everything is brilliant and then without doing anything I feel like utter shit again and its been going on like that for ages."

Spectacular lack of personal awareness there, but why the Bipolar diagnosis wasn't such a shocker.

I was diagnosed 12 years ago and when I'm ill it's pure hell. My DH and I have been to hell and back far too many times. I've had so many relapses I've lost count. For me it isn't twice as interesting, I would trade if in for dull and predictable any day.

fedupandtired , I would happily trade it in for "normality", but I'm working on accepting that it's going to stick around. On the other hand, why should I feel ashamed? I am who I am.

I think that most people don't understand that bipolar. You can become very unwell. I think it's akin to when someone dies. People just don't know what to say and how to handle the situation. Then you have narrow minded arse-wits, but that says more about them than anything else.

I can sympathise with that fedup as I've been quite poorly this year and am off again at the moment. What I'm learning fast is that getting the hang of self-management is one of the keys and something I'm not so great at doing at the moment. When you relapse its rotten. My DH has been through a heck of a lot this year having to look after me and the DCs particularly when I was admitted, but even when I was out he had to take on most of what needed to be done.

Talking to others with BP it seems like relapses happen really fast - in that you go down or up really quickly. I'm the down sort.

As for work - well my boss knows I have bipolar as I organised a meeting with him and HR before I came back to work. Only two other people at work know as I don't see why they need to go in and shout out a declaration, but if it should ever come up into conversation I would be honest. I'm off work at the moment and worried about whether I'll be able to keep my job, but the best I can do is to keep plugging away and hope it happens.

MrsWolowitz - I can remember when I was diagnosed and while there was a "oh, that explains a lot" element, the enormity of having a genuine bona-fide mental health problem that wasn't going to go away really did get to me.
I've had a few nights in bed crying and wishing I had my "old" life back, but manage to pull myself through. I've found this board to be really useful for when things hit the fan.

My best advice to you is to take the meds exactly as prescribed. My most recent relapse was because I decided I knew better and reduced them. It almost killed me, relapsing so quickly. I have learned my lesson. I will take them and only reduce under the advice of a psych. Oh yessiree.

Yep, I think that buggering about with your meds is part of the illness. If you feel the urge, just remember how the relapse was and resist the temptation.

Also, I take lamotrigine. It is free from side effects and doesn't change the way I feel, as in spaced out, unlike most other meds. Even when I've missed a day I feel awful and I'm sure you can't relapse that quickly. It makes me wonder if lamotrigine is physically addictive and if you also get withdrawl symptoms from it and other bipolar meds.

The lamotrigine is the one that I've never fucked about with as it doesn't zonk me out like the quetiapine does.

Now the Q-pine, was what i really fucked about with and learned a very good lesson indeed.

Hey all! I was diagnosed about 18 months ago. As exhausting as Bipolar is, I don't think I'd trade it in for the world.

I went through a phase where I kept thinking I was 'cured' and didn't need medication. I'm in the creative field, so I thought it was harming my work and I like being slightly manic. I got burned! No more fucking about with my lamotrigine!

twice as crap in my opinion.
i had mania like thing 13 years ago, after that horrendeous drug resistant mixed state for several years, then ok for some years and the depression and now something god knows what.

I was diagnosed 12 months ago and it's a revelation. I have learnt the warning signs but I wouldn't change it. And after a trial of medication I have chose to be unmedicated I prefer it that way

In my last serious period of mania, I racked up a debt of about 30k. I had multiple credit cards, store cards and an enourmous overdraft, all of them costing me a hideous amount of money a month. The £ ran out just as the mania was subsiding. It took me 5 years of living extremely frugaly before I managed to pay that off.

I've always understood about the depression side of things. I've had quite serious depressive episodes since I was 15. For me, being diagnosed really made me look at the times of my life where I thought I was being the 'real' me - the me that is friendly, sociable, who thinks I'm attractive and am extremely successful at what I do. Discovering that was actually mania was a let down. Knowing that I can't let myself get like that again has a touch of sadness about it.

Oh but the depression. The awful, horrendous depression.

snowbanana I'm with you on the mixed states - I get boundless energy tied into dreadful depression, which is why I'm at risk of self harm. To be stuck in a mixed state for ages must be incredibly hard going.

noisytoys - I tried to go unmedicated and ended up in the most serious bout of depression I've had, even including the one that resulted in my hospital admission.

I'd love to do it as I hate the thought of taking tablets for the rest of my life, but I've learned my lesson there.

I started suffering age 13. my first was manic and voices said I was special and needed to sleep with abusive men I lost my virginity and slept with four men one was 21 and raped my friend but I believed god would give her the justice she deserved if I slept with him.

my first hospital admittance was age 15 after a failed suicide attempt at the time I was living in a women's aid and I remember I used to sit in my room talking to the voices that were telling me other people were stealing my stuff so I started sneaking in their rooms to see if I could find my things, then my psychosis raped up and I started stealing their things to get back at them even stealing their underware. I didnt go to school for two months and as I was separated from my abusive boyfriend I started abusing myself in the way he always did by stabbing cigarettes out on my vagina and legs. I started using drugs because they made the voices quieter.

No one saw me because they were all too wrapped up in their own problems so I suffered alone till I failed at suicide then the whole story came out I was admitted to hospital at a dangerously low weight and covered in burns having lost over 3pints of blood I was lucky to be alive. psychiatrist gave counselling as he thought traumatic childhood was responsible.

I had a few minor esp in between but was diagnosed two years ago after a bad mixed episode in which I was again sleeping with abusive men and sat smashing my head against a wall to block out voices feeling on top of the world and suicidal at the same time.

I was scared of med at first as my dad was a drug addict but I love them now they stop the voices that make me do things I don't want to do med are ace and i don't care about side effects as long as i don't hear voices anymore.

oops didnt realise it was so long as I was 22 diagnosed btw.

Another bipolar here!

Diagnosed 16 years ago, but then saw it explaineda lot about all of my adult life. At the time I was on a psychiatric ward very depressed, having a course of ect. Then discovered that there is a real family history of it, but again we only realised it was bipolar after my diagnosis.

I have had periods of pretty high mania, usually followed by deep depressions. Have had rapid cycling, mixed states, and also long periods of stability ( what I refer to as 'other peoples normal') since discovering Lithium, which I believe saved my life.

My D says that even when stable I change rapidly.

Can't say if I would rather not have it, it is 'me' so who would I be if I didn't have it?

I love "other people's normal". It sums it up really well.

I was diagnosed 4 months ago. It didnt come as a surprise. I have had depression on and off my entire adult life, although never admitted my feelings to anyone, always tried to soldier on, never really sought help or had any treatment etc. Looking back, it was exhausting coping alone.

I had a manic episode over the summer and that was much harder to conceal to those close to me than the depression and was, in fact, very frightening, so finally got myself to the doctors. Luckily got a psych referral within a couple of weeks and was diagnosed as bipolar quite quickly.

I am seeing a psychiatrist every two weeks, on the waiting list for CBT, we are experimenting with meds (started off on citalopram and quetiapine, now just taking escitalopram and holding out to seeif the mood stabiliser is necessary...)

I am generally feeling very low. The bipolar label is a tiny relief, as at least I ave a way of explaining my erratic behaviour and mood swings to people now....but mainly I am very scared about what the future holds and how I will cope long term with a mental illness.

With regards to meds current thinking I believe is if you're stable for two years then if your doctor thinks its appropriate to see how you do without meds. For those deemed more difficult to treat come off meds after five years stability.

For those with multiple relapses you're still looking potentially at a lifetime on meds. That's me.