Cant deal with the anguish in my head anymore. Anxiety has got so bad that I have permanent stress headache and even got panicky trying to choose a jumper this morning to put on. Got in the car with 2 yr old ds and got to car park, was trying to straighten car up in space and dh told me to stop lining the car up going back and foward. Then I replied angrily, ds cried and dh said well done mummy to me because everything is my fault. Dh and I ignored each other all round town, then when we got home he went up to bed and left me to feed ds.
I feel like my head is going to split apart. I feel like all I do is tear myself to pieces in my head and feel disgusted when I look in the mirror. I imagine getting shot in my stomach and dying or disembowling myslf. The pain is too much. I feel like some incompetent idiot and a rubbish mother, even though I try and do activities with my son and ztell him I love him.
I keep staring into space and feeling like I am going mad.