Ive been on my antidepressants nearly a year - venlafaxine.
started 75mg, went to 150, then 225, now down to 150.
They really were good for me. If i remember how i felt this time last year, i never ever want to be there again. Ive also not had any sexual side effects, which i was really worried about, as sex is quite a big deal for me.
However, since ive been on them, ive gained about a stone and a half, which bothers me as ive always had eating disorders and body image issues, so this feels really triggering for me and i feel disgusted. Its not that i feel I look actually bad, but... i cant really explain it. I feel like my body is conspiring against me and out of control.
I also am drinking more than i ever was. I was never a big drinker before i went on my tablets, but now i just crave it, to relieve my anxiety.
I also have started self harming. Im so pissed off with myself. Ive ruined my legs. I never had these urges before. I just think im losing it sometimes and wonder whether id be better off without them. I just feel so overwhelmed with everything, i just feel like ive got to bring it to a head and make it go down, and i just do it, with little self control. I feel stupid. Im a grown woman with children, I shouldnt be doing this.
Ive seen psychaiatrists and an ED specialist and am currently waiting to see about a diagnosis for sensory integration issues. My doctor said i have general anxiety disorder, the psychiatrist said anxiety and depression, but I think theres a reason behind it. I am overwhelmed very easily and when there is too much noise and activity or even too much visual stuff going on i disaccociate kind of and go into panic. Two of my children are ASD and I think its along these lines, without the social issues.
I just think its time to come off them now. I dont think theyre helping me particularly. Im not where I was last year, but maybe i wouldnt be anyway? I dont think id be a hell of a lot worse off them than i am on them.
Can anyone give me any thoughts??
thankyou